Family Fun (or Insanity)

This weekend has been filled with family fun and craziness. By some odd stroke of fate, B's entire family and my entire family were all in town this weekend, so we were crazy busy. B's family arrived Friday night, so she and I headed over to my apartment in Saint Paul for the night. I can't remember the last time I had slept there, but I do know that I LOVE LOVE LOVE my bed. So much so that I actually miss my bed. B's bed just can't compare. I can't wait until we finally combine our households permanently, as I will get to sleep on my bed all the time (if B will let us).

Anyway, we woke up early on Saturday morning to go see a few houses in NE Mpls (none that we want to buy), and then it was off to Chaska to visit with my family. It was great to be there with both my sisters present - that doesn't happen often. I really miss both of them. I actually miss my parents too, as I don't see them all that often. Sad, since they only live 45 minutes away. I should work on that I guess, but life has been crazy.

After lunch and some time hanging out (and meeting my mom's new cat), we went back to Mpls to have dinner with B's family. We went to Taste of India, which I really love. After that, we went back to the Mpls apartment (where we normally live) and hung out for a bit. We left there by 9, and I think I was sound asleep by 11 pm (in my awesome bed!).

Sunday, we had to wake up relatively early again, this time for Charlie's birthday party. I wasn't sure I would make it, as I was feeling really sick this morning, but I sucked it up and got ready (it didn't seem right to blow off a three year old's birthday party). The party was quite fun, and I'm glad I went. Charlie loved the Little Einsteins card we gave him - maybe more than some of the presents he received! Good stuff.

After the party, B, her sister Rachel, and I headed back to Saint Paul. Rachel's flight home isn't until 10:30 or so. My sister Samantha also joined us at the apartment for an hour or so before she had to catch her flight back to Seattle. We all played a little guitar hero (Rachel had never played before - a GH virgin! who knew such folks still existed?), and then it was time for Samantha to head out. I was sad to see her go. I wish she hadn't moved, but there's not much I can do about that. It sucks that both of my sisters live out of town. :(

Right now, I'm trying to do a few loads of laundry (we have about 3 million after a weekend of visitors) and B and Rachel are sitting on the couch watching The Holiday. Actually, it seems that Rachel has fallen asleep, and now B just told me she is going to take a nap too. I'm incredibly exhausted (and slightly crabby too), and I should probably nap as well. Probably won't happen though, as I want to finish this laundry before we head out for another dinner. I might wind up skipping the dinner altogether, as it's going to be at Benihana and I've already had a disastrous WW day. Sigh. I thought I might lose this week, but today probably killed that dream. No self control at Charlie's bday party. Oh well. Tomorrow is a new day!

Anyway, despite the craziness, it was a good weekend. If only I could take tomorrow off to recover from it...alas, I have WAY too much to accomplish at work this week. Sleep when you're dead, right? :)

How can I be sick AGAIN?

I am sick. AGAIN. How is that possible? I was just super sick in January. Maybe I'm just doomed to be perpetually sick. At times, it feels like it. One of my law school classmates once asked me if I drank the cold virus for breakfast...perhaps I do somehow and don't even know it. It's not like I'm teaching kids, which explained the strep throat twice in two months my 2nd year of law school. And I don't see Charlie and Matt enough to blame it on them. All I can think of is stress and lack of sleep. Maybe that's it. Who knows? Regardless of cause, I just want to feel better ASAP. Though, figuring out the cause is probably important too, as I don't want to be sick every month. Anyone have any thoughts/advice?

WW Update

I have now lost 35 pounds on Weight Watchers! Woo hoo! It took me a long time to make it to 35 from 30, as I didn't have as much time to work out and my eating slipped a bit. However, I have recommitted to the program, and I think I'm back on track.

Speaking of the program, I know many people participate via WW online. I'm not sure that would work for me, as I actually love going to my weekly meetings. I find talking to others, celebrating our successes and sharing our setbacks, chatting about recipe and snack ideas, and just the overall support I receive to be simply amazing. I just don't think I would be as successful if I only participated online, but everyone is different. If the online program works for others, that's great. However, speaking of online resources, I do find the online support group at wwtweets (on Twitter for those of you who don't Tweet) to be amazingly helpful. I feel honored to walk with others as they journey down the weight loss path - it's a prety amazing experience, and I'm grateful that I found the group. The internet is seriously fantastic; how did I survive without it? I guess that's a post for another day!

To get back to the point, I'm thrilled to be where I'm at with my weight loss right now, and I'm also excited to keep moving forward. So to close, a note to the 35 pounds I've lost - good bye and good riddance! You won't be missed, and I hope to never find you again!

I could have sworn I was only 32...

When I was an athlete in high school (and even when I played intramurals in college), I never bothered with stretching or warm ups, and I never put much thought into cooling down either. I figured I felt great and that would never change. Stretching and all that other stuff was for old people, and I had better things to do. I also played sports for about two to four hours each day and never gave that a second thought either. I was young, in good shape, and felt great.

Fast forward to today - I'm only 32 and my body is falling apart! My right ankle is structurally unsound from all the sprains, and the tendon inside it is splitting. I demolished my right knee almost four years ago playing softball (tore the ACL, MCL, and both menisci), and that's never been the same. I had severe tendonitis in my right elbow during high school, and that still bothers me. My left elbow is super sore from - get this - carrying heavy bags on the train. How pathetic is that? And to top it all off, I'm pretty sure I have a pinched nerve in my lower back, as my back hurts and the pain runs down my left leg - a fiery sort of pain. My doctor wants me to have an MRI on my back, but I'm trying to save money for the house so that will probably have to wait a bit.

All these ailments make me look pretty funny from time to time. I have knee braces, elbow braces, and ankle braces. I have ice packs and heating pads, and lots of mineral ice. I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and literally hobble to the bathroom, hunched over. Honestly, if someone didn't know better and couldn't see me, s/he might guess that I'm 82 rather than 32. Funny. Sad and funny. Good thing I at least have my youthful looks; no one ever guesses I'm even close to 30, let alone 32.

Anyway, looking back, I'm not sure if my lack of stretching and all the sports actually caused any of these ailments, but it's hard to imagine they didn't at least contribute to some of them. Overuse injuries in kids are becoming more and more common, and I was probably the queen of overuse when I was a kid. Overuse in combination with no stretching, etc. However, even if I could pinpoint all the childhood sports as the cause of my current condition, I'm not sure I would change a thing. I loved every moment of my athletic days! I guess my creaky old body is something I have to live with in exchange for the fun I had back then. Stretching once in a while probably wouldn't have hurt though - a lesson to pass on to my kids I suppose. As if they'll listen...and then the cycle will begin again! :)

In all seriousness though, I do recognize most of these things are not a laughing matter, especially my back. And I worry that I maybe inherited my mom's bones/joints, which means I will be in REALLY rough shape in 20 years (Mom - I mean that will all due respect. I hope you know that). I actually decided to really commit to losing weight via Weight Watchers because I recognized something had to change if I wanted to feel good in 10 years. My poor joints are in rough enough shape without all the extra weight to carry around. Plus, I figure being a lot lighter can help delay and decrease some of the genetic trouble I may encounter later. Even though the damage is already done, I don't have to worsen it by carrying extra pounds. Knowing the potential health consequences of being heavy makes my weight loss even that much sweeter - it's easier to stay on track when I have a concrete reason to do so. I hope I can keep that perspective as I continue on the journey, as it's a long one; a lifelong one really. I guess I have no choice but to stay the course, as I really want to be able to play catch with my kids in a few years or to walk when I'm 70. I don't want to feel like I'm 102 when I'm 52! I can only imagine what that might look like... :)

A real life example of GLBT discrimination :(

As I've mentioned previously, B and I are buying a house this spring. Lately, people have been encouraging us to take advantage of the recently adopted tax credit for new home buyers. Unfortunately, the tax credits impose income limitations, and I earn too much to qualify for the credit. However, if B and I could get married, we could file our taxes jointly, and then we would qualify for the credit, as our income doesn't exceed the joint limit. When I discovered this, I felt truly sad and angry. The love B and I share is just as valid as the love shared between heterosexual couples...a lack of a penis doesn't diminish that. I can't understand why people think we deserve less. B and I will lose out on a lot of money simply because of who we love. I know life isn't fair, but this is something that can be changed; this discrimination doesn't need to exist.

This is just one of the many unfair situations that B and I will encounter in the future. We have to hire an attorney to draft a domestic partnership agreement, we have to hire an attorney to complete a second parent adoption, we have to draft wills and health care directives, etc. All because of who we love. We are no different than any other couple - we go to work, maintain a home, care for pets, love our friends and families, go shopping, travel, etc. Yet, we can't obtain the protection that heterosexuals get just by saying I do. Thousands of extra dollars lost because we have to hire an attorney to take care of everything, and even then, we aren't completely protected. It's just not right.

So, if you are on the fence even a tiny bit re: gay rights and gay marriage, think about me and B. Think about all the extra challenges we face on a daily basis because of who we love, and ask yourself if that's fair. I hope you will reach the same conclusion as me - there is no valid reason for treating people differently based on whom they love. Discrimination hurts, a lot. Think about it. Thanks.

Saturday the 14th?

As you know, yesterday was Friday the 13th. I'm not one who puts much thought into superstitious dates like that, so I didn't give it much thought. However, perhaps I should have, as some idiot drunk driver smashed into B's parked car early this morning. Technically, it was already the 14th, but I'm pretty sure those Friday the 13th movies extended into Saturday the 14th sequels...anyway, I can't believe that happened! Poor B has some of the worst luck of anyone I know.

Here's a recap of what I know: I went to bed around 2:00 am and fell asleep soundly. The next thing I know, B is shaking me awake at about 5:00 am and telling me to get up because someone has smashed into her car and the police are here. I was completely out of it, but I crawled out of bed and threw on my jacket, a hat, and my boots. Sure enough, when I went outside, the police were there and her car had been smashed. So sad. The idiot hit it hard enough that her car actually moved and the bumper is cracked and pieces of the wheel well are all over the ground. We aren't sure if it's driveable, so B arranged for a tow later this afternoon. Boo, boo, boo.

In good news, our neighbors heard the crash and called the police immediately. In more good news, that same neighbor, or perhaps another neighbor (we don't know for sure) stopped the driver from fleeing, so the police were able to arrest him. The officer said the driver was drunk, and he also said he was uninsured. Of course the jackass was! Nice. A side note: Seriously people, don't drive if you don't have insurance. My friend Paige was recently involved in a similar accident involving an uninsured driver, but she wasn't as lucky, as no one stopped the driver who hit her and he got away. Grr - take responsibility for your actions people! Anyway, the officer said the court would require the jackass that hit B's car to pay restitution to either us or B's insurance, which is good (if the jackass ever pays). In bad news, we have to cover B's insurance deductible and go without a car for a while, but in the grand scheme of things, that's okay. Really, I'm just relieved the guy didn't come driving down the street an hour later, as he could have careened right into B as she left for work...a smashed car seems insignificant in comparison to that scenario!

So, even though the whole thing really sucks, and I'm sad for poor B, I also feel pretty decent about it too. It's great to know we have such fantastic neighbors, and it's great that B is okay. All in all, and based mostly on some ridiculous horror movies, that clearly wasn't the worst Friday the 13th/Saturday the 14th thing that could have happened. :)

Hope your Valentine's Day started off better than ours! Love to all!

Nothing says love like a ...vacuum?

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone! I hope the day is filled with fun and love (of any kind). B has to work today, and we are house hunting later, so we celebrated with a "date" last night. Really, our date consisted of grocery shopping, dinner at Taste of India (if you have never eaten there, check it out - it's fantastic), and more shopping at Sears, where we made our first major purchase together - a vacuum (after research and much appreciated advice, we went with a Dyson Animal, which was on sale - thanks all)!

That's right, I took B to Sears for Valentine's Day - obviously I know how to woo the ladies. I mean, nothing says love like some powerful suction...oh wait, that's a post for a different kind of blog! :) Anyway, while we were at Sears, we also looked at tons of other appliances, trying to price out what things might cost if we need to replace/upgrade when we buy the new house. We also purchased some cute outfits for B's nephews. Really, despite what it sounds like, it was a really fun night, and it made me excited for the future. Ten years ago, I think I would have laughed if someone told me I would be happy about looking at stoves, freezers, grills and refrigerators, but I was. Good times for sure!

Holy Deliciousness!

Last Friday night, B and I went to what is probably my favorite restaurant in downtown Minneapolis - the M & S Grill. B had never been before, and as I had to work late, I figured we should stay downtown and enjoy a good meal. And honestly, it was an AWESOME meal and date.

To start the meal, I ordered an excellent chopped salad, and then I had a petite filet mignon, medium rare. Perfect - melt in your mouth perfect. B ordered the New York strip and a caprese salad - also fantastic. We shared parmesan crusted hash browns and green beans, and to complete the meal, we also shared creme brulee (quite possibly my favorite dessert) and a wonderful apple pie topped with cinnamon ice cream. It was like I had died and gone to food heaven. I completely blew off Weight Watchers and enjoyed every single bite. Fabulous! If you are ever looking for a place to eat in downtown Mpls, I really recommend the M & S Grill. I normally don't recommend chains, but I make an exception for this place (plus, it's not like an Applebees or TGI Fridays type of chain). Seriously. They also do a fabulous lunch - check them out some time!

In other good news, B and I saved money at the M & S Grill because I recently learned about a fantastic website: http://www.restaurant.com/. If you've never tried the website, definitely check it out. You can buy $25 gift cards to many restaurants for only $10 (I'm pretty sure you can buy gift cards for different amounts too). We saved $15 just by visiting the website. What a great deal! I believe they feature restaurants all over the country, but you'll have to verify if that's true for your area. A warning - avoid doing what I did, which was thinking I could buy and use 3 certificates at one time. It turns out you can only use one certificate per visit (I'm not sure what I was thinking when I thought I could use more than one - I guess I was just really excited to save money!). In good news, after I bought three but could only use one, I called customer service to see if they could help me fix my mistake. Voila, just like that, I had two credits for future gift cards waiting for me in my inbox. Wow! Great deals AND customer service! I honestly forgot both things can still co-exist. :) Anyway, next time you are getting ready to go out for dinner, check out www.restaurant.com; perhaps you can save a little money and enjoy a good meal. I hope it works well for you too!

One of the worst places to live?

The Pew Research Center recently released a poll ranking people's choices for the U.S. cities in which they would like to live. I believe the institute surveyed 2,000+ people or so. The results? Minneapolis-Saint Paul came in 26 out of 30. Only Kansas City, Cincinnati, Cleveland, and Detroit ranked lower. OUCH! Cities like Houston, Las Vegas, Saint Louis, Dallas, Phoenix, and Pittsburgh beat us. Double OUCH (Houston especially - that place is just awful)! I believe Denver came in first, San Diego second and Seattle third.

I have mixed thoughts on this survey. It definitely stung, as I have a lot of hometown pride. However, as we are enduring the worst winter since 1984, I can see why people would not want to live here. It's brutally cold in the winter, disgustingly muggy in the summer, and super sloppy in the spring (when we get a spring). We do have fantastic autumns here, so that's at least something. I get it though - the climate sucks for most of the year. And as it turns out, people really valued climate, particularly warmth, in their choices (though how Seattle came in third then is beyond me - hello no sun for half the year!). Also, most people who move here say it's extraordinarily difficult to break into a group of friends; basically that Minnesota Nice only exists on a surface level. Again, I have to admit they are probably right - I've actually known people who have said that their lives are full and that they don't need any more friends. Obviously, that sort of attitude doesn't help newcomers feel welcome. Plus, the level of passive-aggressiveness that exists here is insane! So much so that some of B's coworkers don't get her when she's just herself - speaks her mind and is completely honest and direct. Hell, sometimes even I don't get that - I'm always searching for the underlying truth of her statements. Clearly, that passive-aggressive thing was hammered into me.

Despite all the bad things about the Twin Cities, I still love it here. And I think others would too, if they gave it a shot. We have fantastic parks, lakes, and trails. We have good schools (Minnesota consistently ranks in the top 5 in the nation), and we have activities for all - all four major sports leagues have teams here, we have a WNBA team and a professional soccer league team, we have fantastic arts (consistently ranking near the top for regional theater, with the Lion King debuting here. Also, the Frida Kahlo show opened its U.S. tour here), and a decent night life (obviously not like NYC). For a city of this size, I think all that stuff is pretty damn good! Also, within 2.5 hours, you can be hanging out in Duluth and exploring Lake Superior, or within 4-5 hours, you can be off exploring the Boundary Waters Canoe Wilderness Area. I'm not sure how you beat that.

Maybe there is a lesson for us Minnesotans to learn from this survey: if we want people to move here and endure our brutal climate, we must be kinder and more open to newcomers. No one wants to move anywhere they can't make friends (my sister Samantha is struggling to make friends in Seattle now, and it took Sarah a full year to break in to a group in Northampton - that's hard stuff)! It doesn't help that most Minnesotans grew up here, which means they have a lifetime of built in friends and acquaintances. This also means a lifetime of familial and friend obligations as well. This phenomenon results in busy, full schedules and a crazy social calendar at times. However, it probably wouldn't be that hard to open our doors and our hearts to new folks from time to time. And really, we would probably benefit more from it than the newcomers in the long run anyway. Insularity is NOT a good thing, as it stifles learning and personal growth amongst other things.

Perhaps I should make it a goal to try to meet some new folks this year, sort of a belated New Year's resolution if you can call it that. I think I like that idea. Perhaps we should all give it a shot! Now I just need to figure out how to go about doing that...stay tuned.

Rage Against...Everything?

I'm not sure what is going on with me lately, but little things irritate me to no end. Meaning, I'm getting furious over idiotic, daily life things. It's like I have 'roid rage, but without the steroids. Odd. Perhaps mildly justified (see below), but really, still out of proportion.

A few examples: I stopped at McDonalds the other day to pick up a hot fudge sundae for B, who wasn't feeling well. I wanted to do something nice for her; alas, McDonalds did not assist me. Why? Because apparently their idea of a hot fudge sundae is a squirt of chocolate on the bottom of the cup, a ton of vanilla ice cream, and then a drizzle of chocolate on top. And to make it worse, it had to be the slowest McDonalds ever. Honestly. So normally, this incident would leave me mildly irritated. Not last week though; I was seriously angry. So much so that I complained for a long time to B. And I think I twittered about it too. Whoa. Like I said, I think I had a right to be irritated, as I paid for something and didn't receive it, but come on - get a grip!

Another example: I grocery shop at Target a lot. I find the experience to usually suck, as they are normally out of many, many things, and their produce goes bad in approximately 3 minutes (okay, okay, more like four days). Plus, it's always overcrowded, and people drive their carts like they drive their cars - idiotically. One of my biggest pet peeves at Target is the cashiers. Usually, they are slow, and half the time they have no idea how to bag groceries. Sometimes they attempt to use all plastic bags without asking (when I'm shopping, I buy a lot of food - WW makes me eat at home a lot more). What, am I supposed to carry out 20 plastic bags? How does that make any sense? Another thing - they always try to put the fruit in with the cans, which greatly bruises the fruit (which then shortens its short life even further). And the other day, my cashier packed ALL of my cans in one bag. Hello moron! How am I supposed to carry that bag without having it break into several pieces in the parking lot? And he also forgot to use my coupons (after HE had pushed them to the side). When I mentioned that, he said I had to go to customer service if I wanted the credit. Now, it wasn't like I was going to be saving a lot, but it's the principle really. How can someone do their job so poorly??? I left Target feeling so angry that I actually vented to Karen on the phone. I swear I need daily Xanax or something...

One more example - I paid for a car wash tonight and the car wash failed to finish washing my car. I was in a hurry, so I asked the cashier if I could have my money back. He refused and said I could have a free wash, which meant having to go to the end of the line and waiting again...for a car wash that may or may not work. Again. I didn't have time, so I took the free wash and left in a huff, vowing to myself to never shop there again. Honestly, how can all these places be so craptastic? How can I learn to accept that I live in a mediocre, at best, world? Perhaps I need to seriously consider my xanax idea above...

Or maybe it's not totally me, and maybe we are just living in a world without customer service and without quality products, making me rightfully disgruntled, at least somewhat so. I don't remember things being so awful even five years ago. I'm not sure what is happening, but customer service seems to be completely dead. I really don't think it's too much to ask for decent service and a decent product when I'm SPENDING money on it. Come on people, get with the show! I also hate the argument that people don't want to work hard because they aren't paid well. Hello, I worked at Wal-Mart and Byerlys as a kid, and I busted my ass for my tiny wages. I guess some people just don't believe in working hard or even just doing a good job anymore either. Sad, but true. This is not to say that I don't believe in paying people livable wages. Obviously I know many people are paid horrifically, particularly teachers, but that is a post for another day. However, along with my belief that we should pay people better, I guess I just believe people should work hard and do their best too, no matter what their job is.

Unfortunately, I don't think the world is going to be changing any time soon, so I need to figure out how to implement an attitude adjustment if I don't want to be a raging bitch all of the time. I think lowering my expectations is a good place to start, and perhaps I need to reexamine where I choose to spend my money as well. I used to love Target, but it's not the same as it was even 5 years ago. Too much cost cutting has led to some horrible experiences, and they have changed their political priorities as well. Maybe it's time to shop elsewhere, though I refuse to go to Wal-Mart. Same goes for eating out - maybe I will only choose places that still value service and provide quality food. Might cost a bit more, but probably worth it.

Regardless of what I change, I know I have to do something. If I don't, I'll be the mad woman driving around screaming to myself in a Honda Civic...watch out world! :)