Some wedding pictures ... more to follow later

Thoughts for Blair

Hi all,

My brother-in-law Blair recently suffered a severe knee injury (due to a small house fire - long story, but the house is okay) and had surgery today. Please send out thoughts and prayers (if you pray) for him and my sister Amanda, as his recovery is going to be long and painful. Thanks!

For Kristin

I am now so far behind on my blog that I don't know where to start. In the last year or so, we bought a house, moved into it, got married (best day of my life so far), added another nephew, lost a cat (RIP Elijah, we love you), lost B's grandma, worked a lot, did a lot of house projects, traveled some, attended numerous weddings, and just enjoyed life overall. At some point, I will try to post wedding pictures, and maybe some other pictures from the last year or so. I hope so anyway. It may be another year before I write again...

I'm alive!

So, obviously I haven't written in a LONG time. There is a lot to talk about: the wedding, a new nephew, settling into the house, new carpet, pet troubles, mini-honeymoon, birthdays, trip to Fargo, work trip to Chicago, road trip to Neenah, Twins games, post-season heartbreak, volleyball started again, etc. Basically, life didn't stop because I stopped blogging - shocker I know! :) I will try to spend some time catching up soon.

Hope everyone is well!

Wedding Planning Update

It seems the wedding planning is cruising along these days. The invites should go out soon, which is awesome. The rehearsal and rehearsal dinner is planned, and the shower is set for July 18. We had our engagement photo shoot, and discussed the wedding day with the photographer, setting up a schedule. We hired a videographer and chose the wedding dinner. We have a DJ (though we need to meet with him again) and we even made progress on the gift bags for out of town guests!

All that's left is the cake and the flowers (of the big things), and we've already tasted cake from one bakery. We have another cake tasting on Sunday too, so I hope we can wrap that up soon. As for flowers, I'm not even sure where to begin with that, as I don't care that much about them. I don't want to spend much money on them either. I guess I don't understand the point. Oh, I guess we also have to make a program for the actual wedding day, and maybe pick music for the ceremony. And make the slide show, and figure out some of the wording for the ketubah, and order the dessert and brunch for the pre and post wedding activities, and put the gift bags together...oh boy, I guess there still is a lot left to do! Regardless, we have made good progress, and it seems like we just might be able to pull it all off, which is impressive given our tight schedule. Yay!

NY wedding weekend

B and I went out to New York over the last weekend in June to attend B's cousin Liz's wedding. As usual, my bad travel luck reared its ugly head. We were scheduled to fly to LaGuardia on Friday evening, and we arrived at the airport with time to spare. However, as we sat waiting, we heard rumblings that the flight was canceled. Because we really needed to get to NYC that night (our car rental was waiting, etc.), I ran to the counter to get in line. The agent came out and confirmed that our flight was indeed canceled due to bad weather. He gave us two options: catch a flight in the morning or try to catch a flight to JFK that was leaving at about the same time as the LaGuardia flight. We desperately needed the JFK flight, and I was trying hard to hold our space in line. However, people kept cutting in front of me. I called B over (she was on the phone with NWA) and explained what was happening. She then told the people cutting in front to back off and that we were going to return to our place in line. It was awesome. I wish I had that much chutzpah, but I don't. She also helped someone else who was cut off by grabbing her boarding pass and saying she was with us. Brilliant!

Anyway, we got our boarding passes for the JFK flight and ran over to that gate to board. We were already worried about our luggage (stupidly, I decided that we should check a bag, as we needed to bring both dress clothes and casual clothes. I don't know why I did this, as I know better.). The flight attendants told us that the ground crew was going to try to transfer our bags, and we figured they probably would, as they had almost a full hour to do so. Alas, we arrived at JFK but our bag did not. B managed to be first in line at luggage service desk (we had a bad feeling so she decided to wait there while I stood at the conveyor belt). Unfortunately, the woman helping her had NO clue what she was doing. B had to help her fill out the form on the computer, and even then, she almost reversed our home address with the hotel address. It took this woman FOREVER to help just B - I can't imagine how long the rest of the folks were waiting.

Not only did we not have our luggage at this point, but we also had no way to get to our rental car, which was at LaGuardia. Fortunately, B was able to reach her cousin Jenni and her husband Rob, who graciously and generously agreed to pick us up at JFK and to take us to the car rental shop. This was especially kind, as our flight was delayed and then we had to wait to file the missing bag claim - I think it was well after midnight when we were able to leave the airport.

After Rob and Jenni dropped us off, we decided to try to find a 24-hour store out on Long Island so we could at least buy toothbrushes. Oddly, every store on Long Island, including gas stations, must close at 1o or midnight, as nothing was open. We finally gave up and went to the hotel. We were able to purchase a few basics there, and finally went to bed at 2:30 or so.

The next day, Saturday morning, we called about our luggage. We figured it might arrive that morning even, as there are tons of direct flights from MSP to NYC. However, NWA had NO idea where our bag was - none, nada, zero, zilch. WTF?! As someone said, how is it that UPS can track millions of packages, some tiny, some huge, etc., always knowing where they are, but the airlines can't manage to move bags 100 yards from one gate to another without losing (or damaging) them? And how can the bag go from on the plane to completely lost??? What happens there? I'm very curious, and if anyone knows what happens at airports, let me know. I need a behind the scenes tour!

Anyway, also on Saturday morning, the whole gang (B's parents, B's siblings/significant others and kids plus me) went to Huntington Station to look around. I wasn't too impressed with the area - nothing special. After that, we went to Liz's and Justin's pre-reception, and I met TONS of B's family members. I had a good time at that, despite having to wear the same clothes as I wore on Friday (jeans and a polo, not exactly appropriate attire, but oh well).

After the pre-reception, and after learning we weren't going to be receiving our luggage any time soon (NWA still had no clue where it was), we decided we better go buy some new clothes. Fortunately, our dress clothes/shoes and pajamas were in our carry on, but we really had very little other than that. We found a local Target and bought some shorts and polos - what a waste of money, as we didn't really plan on buying clothes in New York! Sigh. After our shopping adventure, the family took Rich and Marleen out to a local Indian restaurant to celebrate their 35 anniversary - congrats!

Sunday was the big day - Liz and Justin's wedding! As I mentioned, we had our dress clothes, so we were in good shape for this. The wedding was at a country club in Long Island - quite nice. Unfortunately, I didn't figure out the ceremony was outside until that day...and I didn't really wear the best clothes for a hot, sunny day. Oh well, I was fine. I felt bad for the elderly though - most of them had to flee to the shade! Overall, I had a great time at the wedding and the reception. Liz and Justin are so genuinely happy that it's hard not to be happy for them. I hope their marriage brings them nothing but joy. Oh, a funny sidenote - I "caught" the bouquet. Really, Liz threw it so hard at me that it bounced off my legs and I just picked it up. I guess this means that B and I better follow through with our wedding plans! ;)

After the wedding (which was in the late morning), some of the family decided to go to Jones Beach, a state park in Long Island. We walked along the boardwalk (it was quite cold by the water so no swimming for me), and had a nice time. As we were walking back to our cars, B noticed a motorcycle accident on the side of the road. Because she had just renewed her CPR and first aid certification, she decided to go up and offer her help. The motorcyclist, Rich, had made it to the grass, but it was clear he was in significant pain. B told one woman to call 911 and then assessed the situation. She looked at Rich's eyes and then asked him to sit down. He made it onto the grass and leaned back, and despite our efforts to keep him talking, he lost consciousness. I was holding his hand when this happened, and all I could think was, "dear God, don't let this guy die right in front of me." B then instructed us to rip his shirt off in preparation to do CPR. Fortunately, she could then see that he was still breathing (shallowly), and she found his pulse, which was weak. Rich then suddenly awoke and became quite belligerent, yelling at us and asking who we were. Luckily, his friend was there and told him what happened, and he let B keep helping him. He then lost consciousness again, and B monitored his breathing/heart rate. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the beach EMT arrived (B's dad Rich ran to the beach to find them). B asked if he needed a second for CPR, but the EMT said his partner could handle it. Not wanting to get in the way, we left, not knowing whether Rich made it or not. I hope he did. It was quite scary, and I was definitely jittery afterward. I was also extremely proud of B - she was quite heroic, and I think she gave that guy a chance to live by acting quickly and handling the scene. Amazing, really amazing! My baby rocks!

After all that excitement, we went back to the hotel and then out for some Italian food. Then it was time for bed (our luggage still hadn't arrived btw), as we had to head into the city in the morning for breakfast with B's grandparents and to catch our flight home.

On Monday morning, as we were getting ready to go to the airport, NWA called us and said, your bag is at LaGuardia - do you want us to deliver it? Hello morons, we are now on our way back to Minneapolis! B asked them to put it on the plane, but they refused and said we had to come get it. Seriously? NWA is ridiculous. Unfortunately, we hadn't built that scenario into our travel plans, and we weren't sure we could make our flight if we had to add that extra step, especially after we got lost on the way to the airport (one of the major roads was closed). B called NWA back and basically said, "you will put that bag on the plane," and they relented.

After a crazy ride, we arrived at the airport and barely made our flight - I HATE when we cut it that close. I really don't want to do that again. As we waited in the security line, we ran into Mike, Aviva, and the boys (they also got lost), so we helped them through security and with boarding. The flight home was fairly smooth, and by some miracle, our bag was waiting for us at the MSP baggage claim. Ironically, it had a RUSH tag on it. Ha! Clearly that didn't happen. Oh well, at least we had it - I was starting to worry that it was lost forever, and I had a lot of my favorite clothes/shoes in there.

After that hectic trip, B declared that she is done with traveling for a while. It's just too stressful, and the airlines are a BIG part of that. I think I agree with her, at least somewhat - maybe I shouldn't travel for a while either. The travel gods seem to hate me (my flight home from London was canceled in 2007, forcing me to stay an extra day after 40 days away from home, my luggage was lost for five days at the beginning of my Jerusalem trip, my first flight on the way to Jerusalem was canceled, a 2007 flight to Florida was canceled and we almost missed the entire weekend trip, one of my suitcases was once lost and returned to me with a hole and a tire track over it, etc.). I seriously do not have good travel luck - perhaps the next step is a plane crash, and I certainly don't want to tempt fate! :)

All in all though, despite the travel woes, I had a great time in NY, and I'm so glad I got to be a part of Liz and Justin's wedding celebration. I love weddings. I also really enjoyed hanging out with B's immediate family and meeting her extended family, as I had heard so much about all of them. Now I can't wait until our wedding in September - yay!

PS - NWA gets the idiot of the week award. Really, all airlines probably deserve the award permanently, but I'll go with the week for now. I only have so much power after all. Haha!

Fun with Firefighters

About two weeks ago, B and I went to the associate party at a fellow attorney's house. When we pulled up, some folks were standing outside and said we couldn't go in. We laughed and said whatever, and then they said, no really, you can't go in, the carbon monoxide detector is going off and the fire department is on the way. Sure enough, a big fire truck pulled up a few minutes later to check it out. They brought a full crew in a full size truck, and the guys let us explore it while a few went inside with the carbon monoxide meters. After a few minutes, they came out and gave us the all clear; the detector seemed to be malfunctioning. We then went inside and enjoyed the party.

Fast forward to Saturday afternoon at our own house. B went upstairs to take a nap, and I was watching Band of Brothers in the basement. Suddenly she called me up and said, the carbon monoxide detector in our bedroom is going off. I thought maybe she was playing a prank on me, as what are the odds of that happening twice in one weekend?!? However, it really WAS going off, and we weren't sure what to do. I changed the batteries but it kept beeping and telling us there was a carbon monoxide problem. B then called a non-emergency fire department number, and they said to call 911 and get out of the house. So, B called them and we went to sit on the front steps. And once again, we encountered a giant fire truck pulling up to a house! The guys were in full gear, and they went in to check it out. Also once again, the detector was malfunctioning - their meters read zero. Odd. I took the batteries out (the beeping drives Matty crazy), and decided to buy a new detector.

Now that we're back from our NY trip, I decided to try the old one again, just to be sure. Lo and behold, the stupid thing now works fine! I guess I can take the new detector back. I feel a little nervous that maybe I shouldn't risk it, but we have detectors on the main floor and in the basement as well, so I think we will be okay. I hope so anyway, two visits from the fire department is plenty for me - and I'm sure for our neighbors as well. :)

Oh Matty

One of the great things about the new house is that the backyard is completely fenced, which means we can just open the door and let Matty run around freely. She loves it, and so do we. However, I've always worried that someone would come by and open our gate, and I think that happened last night. I stumbled out of bed around 6 this morning to let Matty out (hitting my head on the stairway arch on the way down - nice). I opened the door and off she went. I was going to just let her hang out and go back upstairs for a few more Zs, but for whatever reason I decided to bring her inside. I opened the door and called her name...and called it again...and again. She didn't come, which is odd...and then I noticed a white flash near 42nd Street (not our yard for non-Minneapolitans) and realized she had escaped (I didn't have my glasses on to make things worse). I tore up the stairs and told B what happened. We both ran out and got into our cars, as once Matty starts to run, you can't catch her on foot - she is insanely fast.

I headed north through the alley and spotted her running north on 20th Ave. I followed her as she tore down the street (literally, I was driving fairly fast and she was flying ahead of me). She ran through our neighbors' yards, terrorizing the early dogwalkers and regular walkers. She ran up to some poor lady's fence and started going nuts at her dogs - she tried to control her dogs and I kept yelling "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can't catch her." Oh, I was in my PJs to make it even better.

After terrorizing those dogs, she was off again, running over to Sibley Park. Immediately, I spotted a big problem - a woman walking two dogs with a stroller. Matty of course saw them too and off she went. The woman yelled very loudly at Matty, and I again was shouting, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, she won't hurt you" and the poor woman said, "yeah, but my dog WILL hurt her." I think I mumbled something like, "well, she pretty much deserves it at this point." The poor woman's baby was screaming at this point, but she kindly offered to help me by giving me her cookies to tempt Matty. Matty didn't buy it and she continued to run off through the entire park.

Fortunately, B pulled up at that point, and she managed to corral Matty - I'm guessing Matty was tired by then, as she really was running fast and she ran a long way. Plus, she just listens to B more than me. I was quite relieved that B caught her, as I was really scared she would be hit by a car. She doesn't really stop to look for cars - she just runs. I saw her fly through intersections where cars were coming. Yikes! I really, really didn't want to see our dog killed this morning (or any morning or time for that matter). So, knowing B had her was a huge relief.

We all headed home and tried to calm down (it really stresses B out too, to the point where she becomes ill). After a little while, Matty tried to make peace with us by cuddling, but I wasn't having it yet. I love her, but I wasn't too happy with her. I'm sure our neighbors weren't too thrilled either. I thought about posting a general "missed connection" on craigslist apologizing to all she might have run into - especially the poor woman with the baby. I'm really sorry folks!

Later on in the day, I received flowers at work. The card said, "I'm sorry. Love, Matty." How can I not forgive the dog after such a kind gesture (thanks B, that was very sweet and very cute of you to do)? I really do love that dog, but boy is she a challenge at times. I'm not sure why she loves to escape so much, as she has a good life with us (right now she's completely sacked out on the couch next to me - guess that run WAS tiring), but it's something we have to live with - it's just who she is. And we wouldn't have her any other way. :)

Girls in Wonderland 2009

B and I went to Florida in early June to visit Melia and Melissa and to partake in Girls in Wonderland 2009. We had an absolute blast at GIW in 2008, so we were really looking forward to the trip. Well, it turns out we are a little too old for GIW. We don't stay up until 5 am drinking and partying, we don't dress completely trashy, we don't throw our trash on the ground wherever we want, we don't run around the hotel hallway screaming and yelling at 4 am, and we don't generally act like immature assholes. Don't get me wrong - I loved the pool parties, spending time with B, Melia, and Melissa, and getting away for the weekend, but I can do without the rest of the weekend. It's just not my scene anymore. B and I go to bed at a fairly reasonable hour most nights, and we get up fairly early to get things done. We still love to have fun, but maybe just not in that way. I guess I'm just done with my early 20s (though I never actually acted that badly when I was in my 20s - there was some really horrid behavior going on).

In fun news, we ditched the pool party on Saturday and went to Epcot Center! I had never been before, and I loved it (though, I can't believe how much they charge for admission - holy crap! Don't they know we're in a recession - who can afford those prices?). It was really fun to go there with B. We stayed for the fireworks show, and it was just a really great date.

All in all, I'm very glad we went to Florida, as it was great to see Melia and Melissa and to go on vacation with B. However, I'm pretty sure that next year, we will be going to Florida just to see M and M - no more Girls in Wonderland for us! I guess we are more content in the regular world, and I'm okay with that!

PS - if you ever have a chance to see DJ Pride, run, don't walk, but run away. She is just not a good DJ. Lesbians like music with words - not house music like the gay boys. Get your demographics right!

I love our house!

So, as many people know, B and I closed on our new house on April 30, and we moved in on May 16. The move went pretty well - I highly recommend Local Motion, as they did a great job. Probably more expensive than some companies, but all of our stuff arrived in good shape - that's more important to me than saving a few bucks.

Anyway, we LOVE our house! It's not 100% set up yet, as we need to do some real organizing (moving books, hanging wall art, etc.), but I think it looks pretty good. I love the paint colors we chose, and I just love the feel of house. Plus, it already feels like home, which is awesome. We even put up a rainbow flag for Pride - how fun! Oh, the pets seem really happy too.

I thought I would miss Saint Paul, but so far I really don't. Our neighborhood is great - we can walk to great places to eat, we can walk to a great park with a wading pool for Charlie, we can walk to Lake Hiawatha - it's just really great. Our neighbors seem pretty cool too, though B doesn't like that two of them are constantly outside, wanting to chat. They actually invited themselves over one night, which was a little odd. Overall though, things with the house and the neighborhood are great!

In amusing news, we've definitely encountered those first time homeowners situations in which we had no idea what to do about something. For instance, one day B came home and the laundry room floor was all wet. She thought maybe I had mopped before work but quickly realized I hadn't, as there was a standing puddle. After some confusion about where the water came from, we realized the lint filter on the washer hose was so full that when the washer drained, water sprayed all over the laundry room! Not a big deal as the room isn't finished, and really sort of funny. B also figured out how to install a light over the sink - she was frustrated at first but ultimately did a great job. I'm sure we will continue to encounter tons of these situations. I only hope they all go as smoothly as the first ones, but I doubt it! :)

In other home buying news - congrats to Kristin and Danette on the purchase of their new home! Welcome to the club!

MS Walks 2009

This year, I participated in TWO MS Walks, one in Fargo, ND, and the annual walk I do in Minneapolis. B. participated in her first walk this year as well, in Fargo. She raised well over $500 for the cause - awesome!

Why two walks you ask? Well, Amanda lives in Fargo, and she was chosen to be the walk ambassador or grand marshal up there! What an honor! Tons of people from her school community came out and walked for her (Wildcat Walkers), and I think she organized the biggest team by far. I was incredibly proud of her, and I was also very touched to see how many lives she has affected. She is clearly adored by her community, and it was wonderful to be a part of that. What an honor! Really, pretty neat.

The walk in Fargo went really well - the weather was perfect, and the community made a big deal out of it. A drum corps came to lead us, a local radio station hosted the pre-walk, the local mascots cheered us on, and the Walk even made the news (we saw Manda leading us out - pretty dang awesome!). I think they managed to raise a decent amount of money as well, which is the point of the walk after all. Plus, I got to spend the day with my family - everyone but Trav made it there. That was REALLY nice, as I miss everyone. I hate that my sisters live far away. Anyway, the Fargo walk was a great success, and I'm glad B and I could participate!

The Twin Cities walk was also a great success this year, though their fundraising efforts were really hurt by the economy. That sucks, as MS doesn't stop during recessions. Depite the disappointing results, the walk was a blast. Dad and I enjoyed PERFECT weather, I wasn't nearly killed by a flying tent, and we finished the walk in a little more than 2 hours - not too bad for a 6.5 mile walk! I managed to make my fundraising goal, but mostly because of one extremely generous donor - my mom! To everyone who donated, thank you so much! I will be sending formal thank yous and receipts soon - I apologize for the long delay, but the house, work, and the wedding have been kicking my butt! I hope you'll forgive me and continue to support me in future walks. :) I hope to be better next year.

Wedding update

Wedding planning is in full swing! We have booked a photographer and a DJ, the guest list and invitations are almost finalized, and cake has been tasted. We are considering a videographer, and B's ring is being sized as we speak. However, there is still a ton to do: flowers, order a cake, find clothes for me to wear, taste possible dinners so we can finalize the invitations, etc. Dealing with the Radisson Plaza is interesting, as the woman is never available. Good thing the wedding invitations won't take long after we order them - they have to be in the mail in early July! Thankfully, B's mom has graciously and generously agreed to address and mail them for us! Wow! Very nice!

I think we have our wedding participants lined up, which is quite nice. Our good friend Jill has agreed to officiate, which should be perfect, as we just need someone who is Jewish to officiate. We still need to track down a ketubah, but B seems confident that we will be able to do so. There is so much to do, and so little time to do it in! I hope we can pull it all off!

One of the things I'm most worried about? My clothing for the big day! I tried on a cream suit at Macy's, and I just didn't like it that much. We are thinking about renting a tux (pants, vest and shirt) for me, but I worry I will look too manly. We also thought about having an outfit made, but that is crazy expensive for something I will wear just once. So, I'm not sure what I will wind up wearing, but I'm starting to get nervous about it. I never have good luck with that sort of thing. If anyone has suggestions, I'm open! I don't want to wear a dress/skirt at all, so that's ruled out. Okay, go peeps!

Despite all that we have to do, I'm very excited about the big day. B will be beautiful, and we will be married, and ultimately, nothing else really matters! Yay!

Wedding update!

Slight change of plans - the date is now September 5, 2009. We are very excited to continue our planning, and we are excited about our big day. We have also decided on a venue - the Radisson downtown Mpls. We are pretty excited about it - it's beautiful, and it will allow our out of town guests to stay in a nice hotel for very reasonable prices. Next up - photographers and DJs. Marleen has generously agreed to help us with those tasks, which is a huge relief! Thanks, Marleen! I'm sure there are approximately 500 other tasks, but I think things are shaping up pretty well regardless. Stay tuned for more updates (and I promise I won't let the wedding take over this blog completely)!

PS - thanks to everyone for the outpouring of love and support after we announced our engagement. We are truly blessed to have such wonderful family and friends.

Going to the Chapel...

B and I are engaged! We have been talking about having kids sooner rather than later, but we also agreed that we should probably have a formal ceremony BEFORE the kids. I know the need for a formal ceremony before kids seems odd, as we can't legally marry in Minnesota, but it just feels like the right thing to do.

My proposal wasn't particularly romantic, as we were hanging out at home and I didn't even have a ring (at least I got her a house!) but she still said yes! We immediately began calling and texting our family, and we've been non-stop wedding planning since then, as we chose September 6, 2009 (the Sunday of Labor day weekend) to get married.

Some of your might be thinking, a Sunday wedding? On Labor Day weekend? Well, we chose a Sunday wedding date as most Jews don't marry on Shabbat. We chose the holiday weekend because it allows folks from out of town (most of the wedding party and most of B's family and friends) to attend our wedding without missing work, which is something we felt strongly about. Both of my sisters and my best friend all live out of town, and so do most of B's friends and family. I already feel like weddings are a huge hassle for those invited and those participating, so I didn't think it was fair to make them miss work too. Unfortunately, our choice of date has caused some controversy which I won't explain here, but we are sticking with it regardless. It works for us, and it works well for almost everyone that we want to be there and to be a part of the ceremony. Plus, we had chosen that weekend BEFORE we knew what the date was. Sigh. I wish things were easier and that we were surrounded with happiness and joy, but that isn't how life always works. :) I just wish people would let B and I do our thing and be happy for us.

In good news, my sisters, my best friend, B's friend Tracy, our parents, and most others have been great about the announcement. In fact, B's friend Tracy already took her shopping for her gown, and they ordered one yesterday! They also picked the bridal party color, which is great. Wow! I guess I need to find my suit ASAP. :) Also, my sisters have offered to fly in to host a shower for us - again, wow! How generous! I'm not sure we need a shower, as I sort of feel like it's a racket for gifts, but maybe we will do one anyway. Further, we might have a ceremony/reception location lined up, and the guest list in in full swing too. I can't believe how much is involved in wedding planning - another wow!

Speaking of wedding planning, I think the whole wedding thing is sort of insane. To be clear, I don't have a problem with marriage, but rather this idea of weddings we have in America. I read a mind boggling statistic the other day - the average cost of a wedding in America is $28,000. $28,000?!? That is an awesome down payment on a house, or a year's worth of school at a private college! At my core, I'm really a practical person and I've always felt uneasy about the cost/pomp and circumstance of weddings. Despite that unease, I'm very happy to marry B. I would marry her even if it was just the two of us in a courthouse (not that we can do that in Minnesota) or up on the north shore. I don't need the big, expensive ceremony and everything, including the drama, that goes with it. However, I think the wedding could be a lot of fun too, and I think B would like a nice one, so off we go into this great adventure. Good thing we have Tracy, Samantha, Amanda, and many others in our lives - I can already tell they are going to make the next four months a LOT easier. Thanks, guys!

I'm getting married - woo hoo!

A trip down memory lane

I was recently invited to participate in a panel at the College of Saint Benedict, my alma mater, to discuss what it was like to be a gay student and what it's now like to be a gay alum. I happily accepted the invitation, and I made the trek to central Minnesota last Monday. B, Michelle (another alum), and Michelle's girlfriend Bev joined me. We arrived with enough time to show B and Bev the campus a bit, which was fun. I hadn't been up there in years, and it was interesting to see that while many things have changed, many things have also stayed exactly the same. The sandwich shop that we used to eat at, BoDids, smelled EXACTLY the same. I also loved hearing the library bells...almost transported me back in time. Walking around campus definitely made me me feel old though, especially by the first year dorms. I guess that makes sense, as those students are 18 or 19 years old...young pups compared to my wise and seasoned 32 year old self - HA!

After we ate dinner and completed our mini-tour, it was time for Michelle and me to go speak. Surprisngly, there was a really good turnout! I'm guessing many of the students were required to attend for class, but who cares? At least there were people there. :) It was good to see, and I hope they took something from the presentation.

Not surprisingly, I spoke my mind about CSB and central Minnesota. It's probably important to note here that I was the "Big Lesbian On Campus" duing my sophomore, junior, and senior years, meaning I was out and very active in promoting equal rights for GLBT students. I was so out that if people hung out with me, they were presumed to be gay by default. :) Anyway, during the presentation, I noted that while I made some lifelong friends during my four years there, it was also a very difficult place to be as a lesbian at times. So difficult in fact that I often contemplated transferring to a different school and at times actually felt a bit unsafe. My friend's car was vandalized for having a rainbow sticker, and I was offered a security escort after Matthew Shepard was killed (because we were planning a rally to address that sort of violence). After recounting my difficulties, I specifically addressed any gay students in the audience and said, "if you are gay, get out of central Minnesota." LOL - I guess I was a little blunt. During the question and answer period, one student asked me why I felt the Twin Cities were better, and I then had to rattle off reasons such as, "it's bigger, more populated, diverse community filled with all sorts of people, more progressive attitudes, etc." I also stated that I felt safer in the South visiting family than I did in central Minnesota, which is true (though, I've never traveled alone in the south, and I've never been in the middle of nowhere in the south - I imagine I could rapidly become more scared down there). Anyway, after the follow up question, all I could picture was some headline in the student newspaper saying something like, "Alum tells students to get out of central Minnesota." Nice!

I often wonder if I'm generally too blunt about things, but after some thought on this presentation, I've decided I wasn't too blunt about CSB. I spoke MY truth about MY experience up there. I had a blast at college, but things certainly could have been a lot better too. No one should have to think about having a regular security escort or have to worry about being jumped late at night (that was over at St. John's more than St. Ben's, but still not cool). I shouldn't have had to be worried about harassment and staring, or hate-filled emails from other students. Alas, that was CSB in 1999, and unfortunately, it sounds like it was CSB during the early and mid-2000s and that it is still CSB now.

Despite the difficulties I had there, I'm glad I stayed and stood up for equality. Things will never change in places like that if people don't stay and fight (same goes for the Church - it won't change if all GLBTers abandon it, but that's not a fight I could stay in as I can't stand religion for the most part). Obviously, my life would have been much easier if I had transferred to Smith or St. Kates (the schools I wanted to attend), but I think CSB is a much more accurate reflection of the so-called real world. Most places aren't hotbeds of liberalism or equal rights activity, and I learned a lot of lessons while struggling to fit in in such a place. In Minneapolis/Saint Paul, I rarely worry about being gay - I hold B's hand in public, I kiss her, I call her my partner, girlfriend, fiancee, etc. without really worrying. Unfortuantely, I still don't feel comfortable or safe doing that in most places, including CSB and even my hometown in Carver County. So, what I'm trying to say is that I am glad I didn't transfer because CSB was good preparation for dealing with most of the country. I'm also glad I live in liberal cities now, as I don't think I have the energy to fight so hard on a daily basis in a different place. A girl can only do so much afterall!

All in all, it was great to be back at CSB, and it was great to be a part of the presentation. As I told B, Michelle, and Bev during the ride home, I think the trip up was worth it if we helped just one gay student. It was also worth it if even one straight student got the message and starts challenging his or her peers to be more accepting and kind. Hopefully we had that sort of impact, but I'll never know. Real change is often frustratingly slow, as it requires every single person to think about things in a different way. Regardless, I'm glad I went, and I'm hopeful that we made an impact, even if it was slight. One day at a time, right? :)

Idiot of the Week Award - 3/22/09 - 3/28/09

The Idiot of the Week Award for this week goes to Fast Traxx movers. B and I purchased a used television armoire on Craigslist. My mom and I went to examine the armoire, and we found it to be in pretty good shape. The doors opened and slid back, the drawer worked, the backing was attached, and it held a 32 inch TV. The molding was loose on top, and the piece had some dings/scratches. However, for the price, I loved it and decided to buy it.

Unfortunately, the piece is HUGE, meaning that B and I couldn't carry it or move it in her Santa Fe. So, I decided to call Fast Traxx moving, as they advertise on CL all the time. The price was reasonable, and they were recommended by Angies' List - usually a decently safe bet. Plus, I didn't think that much could go wrong, as it's ONE piece of furniture. Boy was I wrong!

The movers arrived with the armoire, and eventually maneuvered it into the apartment. I noticed the doors were detached, but I figured that was just for the moving process. I asked them about the doors, and they then slyly stated, "oh, one of the doors fell off while we were moving it, but the sellers said it should pop right back in" or something similar. We then attached one door without any problems, but the other door wouldn't attach no matter what we tried. In fact, some random parts kept falling out of the hinges, which definitely seemed odd to me. I questioned the movers again, and they then said that the seller said this was normal and that I should call them for advice. Because I figured they were being truthful and that the seller would have advice for putting the door back on, I wrote them a check, with a decent tip, and sent them on their way. Big mistake (sidenote - I need to learn to not trust people so easily - it was probably obvious that they broke the door at this point, but I accempted their explanation - doh).

After the movers left, I called the seller, who almost laughed when I told her what they had said. She said that the idiots didn't tie the doors shut or take them off (even though both she and her boyfriend told them to do so) before they turned the armoire on its side and that as a result, the doors flew open and one fell off. I then closely examined the hinge and could see instantly that she was telling the truth - the hinges were REALLY bent and that's why the pieces were falling out. I immediately called the movers, who conveniently didn't pick up, and left a pretty forceful message stating that I didn't appreciate their lying to my face and that I expected them to return my check. I was upset that they broke the armoire, but I was more upset that they had lied to my face. Absolutely ridiculous.

Poor B and I then had to spend the rest of the day attempting to fix the door (as what good does a TV armoire do if the doors don't work - the whole point is to hide the TV!). After several trips to Home Depot and Rockler Woodworking, we couldn't find matching hinges, so we tried to jerry-rig a solution with smaller hinges and wood putty (parts that weren't exactly cheap). That didn't work, and poor B had to chisel out the wood putty before it completely set. After that failure, we gave up for the night, but I continued to scour the internet for matching hinges. I finally found something and emailed the local Rockler manager, who responded on Monday that he thought he could help us (PS - Rockler is a great store - very helpful personnel. I highly recommend it. They even gave us our money back for the wood putty and small hinges, as it was their recommendation.). B went over to Rockler later that week and voila, we had working hinges and a working door again. Nice!

Unfortunately, Fast Traxx's idiocy didn't end with the doors. As we set up our TV equipment, we also discovered that they managed to rip the particle board backing off the back of the armoire, and I think they damaged the drawer as well. Plus, the TV shelf wasn't as strong as it should have been. At this point, B and I didn't know what to do, as we had already spent more money than we had planned. We aren't very handy, and we had no idea how to fix a piece of furniture. We knew we could fix the molding and the particle board, but that was about it. Luckily, B had a moment of brilliance and decided to ask Gordy, her landlord, if he would look at it. He said sure, and after a couple of hours of his time, we have a functional armoire! He only charged us for the hardware, about $10. We keep pestering him to tell us what we owe him for his labor, but he just shrugs it off. What a great guy!

Anyway, while we are thrilled with the armoire now, the point of this entry is to tell folks to avoid Fast Traxx. I understand that furniture can be damaged during moves, but lying about what happened is COMPLETELY unacceptable. I was so angry that I actually decided to write an email demanding my money back, and I wrote it from my work account. I've never done that before - meaning that I've never used my position as an attorney to receive fair results, if writing an email can even be called that. I felt weird about it, but I'm not sure why, as I only asked for fairness. Even if I wasn't an attorney, I would have taken those jokers to small claims court, as they seriously damaged the furniture and then lied about their actions. And, who knows if they even noticed my signature - probably not. I need to get over feeling bad about demanding fairness, honesty, and good customer service. Seriously.

In Fast Traxx's defense, they did return the check after my emails. That was decent. Regardless, they still receive the idiot of the week award, and I definitely advise against using their services. Pay a little more for good, honest movers, and you won't have to spend money and a week repairing broken furniture! :)

A world without real journalism

Would be a scary world indeed, but it seems we are headed in that direction. As newspapers all over the country die a slow, painful death, I worry about what will become of us and our society. Who will do the investigative work that needs to be done? Who will ask the questions that need to be asked? Who will keep the government honest, or at least more honest? Really, these are important questions and the current answers scare the crap out of me. Clearly it won't be TV journalists, as tv news is already just fluff, and I don't think bloggers can answer the call either. Our government is proposing massive new powers in the wake of the recession, and yet barely anyone is asking any questions...I'm decently liberal, but I don't think the government should take on such powers without any checks. Basically, we need real journalism to question power and to at least attempt to keep it in check.

The younger generation might laugh at me, thinking I'm old fashioned and outdated. They may say, the internet will provide our news, via blogs, twitter and facebook. I'm sorry Gen Y, but those things just don't cut it. Very few of them are properly researched or fact checked, and very few have the resources to actually follow and report stories. Though we might not know it yet, I fear that the death of newspapers will leave a gaping hole to fill, and our current sources just won't fill the void. I can't see bloggers out there interviewing President Obama or Governor Pawlenty...blogs get their news from the AP or other newspapers. Where will the news come from when those papers no longer exist? We will live in a world where we won't know what's rumor and what's truth, and that sounds like a scary world to me. A REALLY scary world.

Despite my fears, I'm not sure there is anything to be done. It seems that newspapers are destined to die, and nothing as legitimate exists right now. Don't get me wrong - I like to read blogs and Twitter, but I don't see how they can actually deliver real, researched news like the current newspaper industry does now. It just doesn't seem possible. I can only hope that newspapers will evolve into something different yet still as effective...an online version perhaps. If not, I fear what will become of us...a nation of uninformed souls, all relying on different sources of information, most spewing rumors, gossip, and plain old mistruths (think Michele Bachmann for instance). I don't know how democracy, what little we have left anyway, can survive such a development. Scary to think about...scary indeed.

Travel dreams

I decided to copy my sister Samantha and post a travel map of the United States on which the states I've visited are highlighted. Like my sister, I seem to have a bias against the south. However, I also seem to have a bias against the mideast, the northwest, the middle states, and New England. In reality, I don't have a bias against New England, as I would love to spend more time there. Same goes for the northwest, minus Idaho. What does one do in Idaho? As for the mideast, I think Michigan would be fun and maybe some places in Ohio.

The middle two states of Kansas and Oklahoma? I honestly have no desire to visit either place. However, OK does host the women's college softball world series every year - that's at least something! I would love to go to Utah for the national parks (certainly not the politics though - do they even let gay people in?). The south would be interesting for the Civil War history, but the south actually scares me a bit - the bible belt doesn't seem to love the gays either. And of course I want to go to Hawaii...who doesn't?

Basically, this map has reminded me that I have tons more traveling to do! And that's just in the US! I've also included my global map below, and then the travel choices/dreams become simply endless. Return to France (anywhere, as I loved that country),visit Wales, Scotland, Ireland, Germany, Switzerland, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Greece...you name it and I'm game. I would say Germany and Switzerland are my top two for now though.

And then there is the rest of the world - Brazil, Australia, South Africa, Canada...yep, that's right, I've never been to Canada! I definitely need to get up there, as Banff and the Canadian Rockies have been calling my name. Plus, I hear Montreal is like Europe without the jet lag. Can't beat that!

Obviously, I love to travel. Unfortunately, my time and resources are limited, just like everyone else. I do hope to make it to Europe with B relatively soon, as she's never been, and I think that would be awesome to do together. Hopefully some day soon. For now, at least a girl can look at her maps and remember the great trips already taken and also dream of the fabulous places she might go!



visited 28 states (56%)
Create your own visited map of The United States

40 in the blink of an eye

Lately it seems like my life is flying by right before my eyes. Somehow, it's already mid-March of 2009. 2009! Where did 2005 go? Or 1995 for that matter? Honestly, I sometimes feel like I'll wake up one day and I'll be 40 years old without knowing what happened. This makes me sad, as I don't want my life to go by without even knowing what I was doing - basically, without enjoying it.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure what I can do about it, as the reason my life seems to be flying by is normal life stuff - work, buying a house, etc. Instead, I think I need to figure out a way to slow down and enjoy the journey - enjoy the work, the home buying, the furniture shopping, etc. I don't want to wake up and be 40 or 50 and not have enjoyed that time. Life is too short to not live in the moment more - now I just need to figure out how to implement this change. That's always the key, isn't it? The doing is much harder than the thinking! Oh well, I have to start somewhere!

House hunt update

So, B and I put an offer in on a house in south Minneapolis (Standish-Ericsson neighborhood) and the sellers accepted it! Yay! The house also passed the inspection, though it does need a new water heater and a few other tweaks that we can do over time. Now all that is left is the appraisal and wrapping up the mortgage. Hopefully those will both go smoothly, as the closing is scheduled for April 30. We are very excited, and I think we would be heartbroken if we didn't get the house at this point. Here are some pics I took (I was in a hurry so I didn't get a chance to take pics of the backyard and garage). Hope you enjoy!