BarBri Instructors and Sexual References

As my BarBri course continues, I'm noticing an irritating and somewhat disgusting habit that many of the instructors have: trying to captivate our attention through the use of often inappropriate sexual references. Of course, none of the women instructors have had this problem, just the men, and they are all quite a bit older than my dad. It's like we are learning the law from dirty old men!

An example: While explaining that contracts cannot be one sided (both parties need to be bound, etc.), the instructor said, "there is no masturbating in contracts." Now really, this guy had to be pushing 70, which was like my grandfather making that comment. Yuck. Another example: today our torts instructor discussed an erotic dream as part of a hypothetical for a good 2 minutes, and the dream ultimately had nothing to do with any of the law we were discussing. It added absolutely nothing, except to make us all really uncomfortable. WTF is up with these creepsters?!? Oh, another random thing: the torts instructor also likes to refer to people "pooping" themselves. Honestly, it's like I'm being taught by 10 year old boys.

It might seem like I'm overreacting, but anyone who knows me knows I'm not a prude and that I'm not offended super easily (I went through that stage when I was a radical in college ;) ). However, these instructors just gross me out, and I'm not alone in that feeling. One of my classmates actually left early today (though, I think she left not only because the man was offensive, but also because he is the slowest instructor EVER). My other classmates all discussed it while we were on our breaks. Honestly, it's just gross, and I want it to stop.

So, BarBri instructors, here's the word: Disgusting sexual references aren't needed to capture and maintain our attention, and you can be funny without them. Most of us made it past the 4th grade long ago, and most of us already are professionals. Please treat us that way. Also, please explore and further develop your senses of humor; there are other ways to be funny. Seriously, no one wants to learn the law from Creepy McCreepsters.

Peace out.

Song lyrics

Currently, I have a funny song running through my head: Let My Love Open the Door to Your Heart. That, a song by Phish, and Pocketful of Sunshine have been running through my head for days. This might not seem abnormal, but really, if I could reduce the number of songs and song lyrics in my brain, I think I could know a lot more law (and other stuff too). I may not be able to tell you much about Contracts or Evidence, but I'm somehow able to sing songs I first heard in the 2nd grade. How is that helpful? My brain needs a delete button, like on the computer. I need more free space! Alas, I'm sure Madonna's Holiday will be running through my brain as I sit for the bar exam. Hot. :)

Kami

Hey all,

Please keep my friend Kami and her mom Andrea (and really her whole family) in your thoughts (and if you're religious, prayers). Kami's mom has cancer, and she's in the hospital right now. I'm not sure how serious it is at the moment, but she and her family can use all the support they can get. Thanks much!

You can read more about Andrea's battle here.

More from Planned Parenthood

I've still been volunteering at Planned Parenthood, and the other day, a woman told me that she wished I would use my talents for good. Being a well trained escort, I dutifully ignored her and went about my work, but I couldn't help but smile. Really, she's sure assuming a lot, as how does she know I have other talents? Also, if she and her cronies didn't spend their mornings at the clinic, I COULD use my talents for something else. Sigh. As much as I wanted to shout that back, there is no point - they just don't get it.

In other PP news, I had to threaten to call the police the other day, as the protestors were blocking cars and thrusting literature into the cars - all not allowed. Yuck. They backed off a bit after the warning, but they were still aggressive. One of these days, one of them will be run over by a car, and I don't think I will be able to help feeling a little...idk, satisfied. I know that sounds awful, but these people are insane, and they violate federal law by blocking the cars. Obviously, I don't want anyone to be seriously harmed, but perhaps getting their feet ran over would teach them a lesson. Probably not, given their nutty ways, but you never know.

That's all from PP world for now.

Road Trip!

After I take the bar exam at the end of July, I have almost a whole month off before I start working at the firm. I'm going to be spending 8 days in Alaska during that time, but that still leaves a lot of free time. So, after some thinking, I've decided to spend the first two weeks of August on a road trip out west, specifically to three big national parks: Grand Tetons, Yellowstone, and Glacier. I plotted a driving route, and it seems doable. After I do some more research, I might add more stops or I might decide to do less. Not sure yet, but I'm really excited regardless. The only thing that worries me is camping by myself, but I think I can handle it. However, if anyone out there can take time off in August, you are welcome to join me! Just let me know - I would love it. :)

Some guidance for myself

Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom. ~ Aristotle

The only journey is the journey within. ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

Yes, know thyself: in great concerns or small, Be this thy care, for this, my friend, is all. ~ Juvenal

All the mistakes I make arise from forsaking my own station and trying to see the object from another person's point of view. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness. ~ Shakti Gawain

Why some law students suck

Everyday before BarBri class begins, the administrator makes announcements. These announcements often include statements like, settle down, don't panic, study less, we know what we are doing, don't burn out, etc. Now, since I haven't studied a whole lot yet, I think these announcements are hysterical. Why? Because she is responding to students who email her and say, "the Pace program isn't enough work, I need more to do, what do I do if I finish all the assignments, I'm only studying 10 hours a day, is that enough, etc." For the record, the Pace program they provide is an INSANE amount of work, and if people are actually finishing that and wondering what to do next, they need to get a life. And fast. People like this crack me up, and they remind me why many, many law students suck. Settle down, do the work, and get a life. Seriously people. You are stressing me out, and that's just not cool.

Pictures up

The pics from Girls in Wonderland and the Milwaukee road trip are posted. Enjoy!

Random Road Trip

On Saturday night, B and I decided to go to the Twins game on Father's Day...in Milwaukee. Her family was also going, and it's really not that far from the TC. So, we bought tickets, packed up the car, stopped in Chaska to visit my dad for Father's Day (you're the best, Dad!), and hit the road...right into a giant thunderstorm! It was so windy I had to hold the steering wheel with both hands and concentrate really hard on driving in a straight line. B helped out, but Matty slept peacefully through the whole thing! Thanks, Matty! After we outran the storms, we had no problem and pulled into B's parents' driveway at about 2 am.

The next morning, we awoke and hit the road to Milwaukee. The drive took about 1.5 -2 hours, and we arrived in plenty of time. Traffic was a bit nuts, and I got a little snarky at B - sorry bout that. Anyway, we parked, got our tix, and went to our seats, which were literally in the first row of the lower deck in the outfield - directly above the Twins' bullpen! We were so close that I could have conversed with the players! Really, really cool seats.

Unfortunately, the Twins lost, but it was still a really fun game. However, and this didn't really put too much of a damper on things, we had one of those REALLY annoying fans behind us. The kind that gets drunk and then starts shouting really stupid things at the opposing team. He was obnoxious, and at one point, I actually muttered something toward him and he shut up for a bit. Our seat neighbors also said something to him, and they verbally sparred for a bit. Really, I'm all about cheering for one's team, but there is no need to be a total douche at the game. His friend had a girlfriend with him, but douche was single...I wonder why?

After the game, B's family actually got to go on the field (they had special father's day tickets which were sold out by the time we decided to go). It was really fun to watch them play catch and run around a bit, and we got some good pics of them doing fun stuff. What a cool idea in general - I have never been on a major league field and would love to check it out some time.

We then headed back to Neenah to pick up Matty, and after dinner and a crazy detour in Stevens Point, we were on our way back to Mpls. Here's to random road trips - I love you, even at $4 a gallon (thank god I drive a Civic!)!

BarBri and Me

Last week, I discovered night BarBri classes. BarBri offers class in the AM and the PM to accommodate different schedules, and registered students can attend either. I wasn't feeling well one morning, and I decided to attend the night class. Let's just say it will be hard to go back to the morning gig. It was so much more chill, and I'm a night person anyhow. The only bad thing is that if I go to night class every day, I won't be able to see most people, as it completely conflicts with a regular schedule...a bit of a dilemma I guess.

My other BarBri dilemma...actually studying. It's just so damn hard to get motivated. I go to the classes, but other than that, it's hard to do more. Most of my friends feel exactly the same. As one person said, June 16 seems like a good date to start (obviously, that's today). Ha! I'm starting to feel mildly panicked though, so I best kick it into gear soon. Yuck. Oh well, a month and a half of BarBri won't kill me...or will it? ;)

Girls in Wonderland

As I noted in my previous post, Beth and I decided to go to Orlando from May 30 - June 1. Several of her best friends live there, and it was also Girls in Wonderland and Disney gay days weekend - basically a form of gay pride. Her friends Melia and Melissa partake in all of the Girls in Wonderland events, so that's what we decided to do as well. Thus began a weekend of drunken lesbian debauchery...well, for many women!

Our travels started out by hitting a bit of a snag at the airport. We were supposed to fly from MSP to Memphis, endure a 37 minute layover, and then fly on to Orlando. All day we knew that we were going to have trouble, as our flight was announced as delayed early on due to high winds. We arrived at the airport and it turned out that the plane that was supposed to bring us to Memphis hadn't even left Green Bay yet. There was no way we would make our connection in Memphis at this point. We had already been talking to a ticketing agent about our options prior to this discovery, and we got back in line to try again. By that point, I was definitely a bit crabby - none of our options were looking good, as it was already a super fast trip (Friday to Sunday) and most of the options had us arriving in Orlando on Saturday morning. Poor Beth had to endure pessimistic Lisa. But by some stroke of luck, a ticketing agent from the next gate called us over, and she managed to sneak us onto the direct flight to Orlando, the one that was leaving at 7:15 central time. The one that the other agent had assured us was well overbooked. Yay for someone at the airlines providing excellent customer service! Too bad it doesn't happen often...in fact, it happens so infrequently that I think I was in shock when I experienced it. She saw our dilemma, stayed calm, looked at options, and solved the problem. A novel concept for airlines I tell you, but a big yay for her! After that, our trip to Orlando was completely uneventful, and we arrived without a problem.

That night, after we checked into our hotel room, we decided to try to track down Melia and Melissa. We headed over to Bongos, a night club that was sponsoring a giant Girls in Wonderland dance. We never found M&M, but B and I had a great time dancing away in the super hot club. Oh, except for some chick in heels stepped on my flip foot covered foot - OUCH! However, if that's the only thing that goes wrong in an evening, I cannot complain too much.

The next morning, we woke up early (by my standards, not Beth's) to have breakfast with Melia and Melissa and their friends Jody and Leslie. We met up with them at the Golden Corral, and it was really a good time. B was super happy to see them, and they were super happy to see her. Good times were had, but I must also say that I will probably not be enjoying the Golden Corral any time soon, as I definitely vomited most of it out later in the day. Ick.

After breakfast, we headed back to M&M's room and started to get ready for the all day pool party. I had never been to an all lesbian pool party (or to that many pool parties period), so I really had no idea what to expect. I did have images in my head from watching shows like the L Word, but other than that, nothing. Well, it turns out that lesbian pool parties, at least the ones at Girls in Wonderland, are basically like the ones on TV: 100s of women in tiny swimsuits drinking and cavorting in a pool. It was actually a complete blast, and I loved every second of it. I kept saying to B, this is so much fun! I didn't drink much, as we were in the hot sun, but just chilling in a pool with tons of lesbians and good music rocks. Also, B's friend Court came to visit us, and once again, she was super happy. Court is one of her best friends, and she hadn't seen him in a long time. Yay for reunions!

A bit about the pool party...there were beach balls and footballs flying around everywhere, tons of women everywhere, a DJ spinning, go go dancers, food and drink vendors, and just total craziness. Dani from A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila was there, and so were random strippers. One of the strippers opened our eyes to a whole new world of...let's just say options. Finally, as the day went on and people drank more, swimsuits started coming off. Not just tops either. Suddenly, we were surrounded by naked women. Interesting to say the least. I didn't really partake in that activity, as I don't need some big scandal right before I take the bar exam. I can just see it now...Mpls attorney naked in a homosexual romp or something. Yikes! Regardless, it was cool that others felt comfortable, and I absolutely loved the pool party. Girls gone wild, but for lesbians. Rock on!

After the pool party, we headed back to our hotel room to chill for a bit. I was completely sunburned, a bit tired, and a bit nauseated at this point (see Golden Corral reference above). We rested and got dressed to head out to dinner with the gang. B's friend GeeGee met up with us at this point, and once again B got to have a friend reunion.

After dinner, we went to the House of Blues, where the Girls in Wonderland festivities were for the evening. Upon arrival, I was swiftly reminded that I'm no longer 21. The music was so loud that it actually hurt my ears. I'm not kidding. Maybe it was the pool water in them or something, but it physically hurt. And, I hated the music - all techno. In this, I wasn't alone however, as B, GeeGee, and M&M agreed. Techno sucked. Also, the DJ was hysterical - I think she thought she was the show, as she was dancing, singing along, and doing all sorts of odd things while she spun. Weird to say the least.

Finally, DJ Pat Pat came out for a bit (if you don't know her, you should. I discovered her this weekend and she rocks!), and you should have seen the people come out to dance then. It was nuts. Unfortunately, her time in charge was short lived, as the Carnivale entertainment was scheduled to begin. I wasn't sure what to expect, but let's just say it was one of the strangest shows I've EVER seen. It involved weird clowns, a freaky drag queen, tons of random people, and I swear, a little person. WTF is all I can say. It was like watching a train wreck - I literally could not avert my eyes. That's all I can say about that, as I don't think words can capture it.

Once the carnivale show ended, the horrible DJ came back (DJ Pride for the record, so you can avoid her), and we all decided we had had enough. It was already after 1 anyway, so we called it a night and went back to the hotel to crash.

We slept in a bit on Sunday morning and then met M&M for Sunday's pool party. This party was much calmer, at least when we were there. I think people were partied out by then, but perhaps it picked up later. Who knows. After an hour in the pool, we had to go shower, pack, and check out, as it was time to head back to the Twin Cities. Normally, I hate the heat and would have been thrilled for the change, but since our weather has been so bad here, I was a bit sad to leave the sunshine behind.

All in all, it was a fantastic weekend. B got to see and I got to meet her friends, who are great, and we had tons of fun. It was such a fun event that I think we should round up a big group of peeps and return next year...maybe make a longer trip out of it and hit GayDays at Disney too. Ah, the possibilities!

The Pictures:
1) Me outside of Bongos by the water
2) Saturday Pool Party
3) Saturday Pool Party
4) Me and Beth - Bahama Breeze
5) Court, Melia, and Beth - Bahama Breeze
6) Melissa and Beth - Bahama Breeze
7) Dani - She hosted the House of Blues Event
8) Me and GeeGee - House of Blues
9) Carnivale show at the House of Blues (told you there was an actual little person!)
10) Carnivale show - House of Blues
11) Carnivale show - House of Blues
12) GeeGee and Beth - House of Blues
13) Me and Melia - House of Blues
14) Me and Beth - Bongos
15) Court, Beth, and Melia - Saturday Pool Party
16) Saturday Pool Party
17) Saturday Pool Party

More traveling!

Thursday morning: B says, it's Girls in Wonderland in FL this weekend. I check the internet, discover cheap tickets, and after much hassle (the prices kept changing and I kept getting error screens), we had tickets on a flight to Orlando. By Friday night at midnight, we were in FL. Craziness. Stay tuned for a full report of this last minute adventure!

The "Dreaded" Antiquity Rose

Antiquity Rose is a little restaurant and tea room that doubles as a jewelry/antique store, and it is located in Excelsior, a little Lake Minnetonka town that is filled with Stillwateresque charm. Many people love that sort of thing, including my mom, Mary (my second mom), and various members of my family, immediate and extended. They have been going there for years, and they are recognized and well loved regulars at this point.

Despite my family's love for the place, I had never been there, as jewelry, antiques, "charm," and all that other jazz just really aren't my thing. Until yesterday that is. Some of my favorite extended family members were in town and a group decided to meet for lunch. They invited me, and before asking them about the location, I excitedly agreed to join them. By the time I found out it was Antiquity, I couldn't (and actually didn't want to) bail.

Thus, I drove out to Excelsior yesterday afternoon, mapquest directions in hand and laughing out loud a bit to myself as I drove along. I eventually arrived, and it turns out the place is actually a little house with different rooms and the little store in front. Let's just say there was a lot of frill involved. It reminded me of a typical bed and breakfast. Not my thing, but I get why other people like it.

In all seriousness, the meal was decent and the company was great. And I really didn't hate the place, as someone in my family thought I might. Not my thing, but not terrible either. Plus, it makes my mom happy, and I was fed - how can I really complain about that? In the end, the dreaded Antiquity Rose wasn't so dreadful after all! ;)

Tony's got it rough

Here are some recent pictures of my cat. Enough said.

Adventures with Matty

As a child, I loved dogs. My first pet was a great golden retriever named Dixie, and I will always have a soft spot for her in my heart. We also had other dogs over the years, and I loved them all. Despite these positive experiences, I haven't been particularly enamored with dogs over the last few years. I would even go as far as saying that at times, I considered dog ownership to be a deal breaker or at least a road block for romantic relationships. It's not that I dislike them per se. Some of them just scare me, and even if I wanted one, my lifestyle is better suited to cat ownership. I love Tony, and that's good enough for me.

However, dating Beth has allowed me to love dogs again, or at least her dog, Matty. I love taking her for walks, car rides, or trips to the dog park. She's super sweet and a big ball of energy and fun. Hanging around her makes me think I might want a dog again someday, and it's been a lot of fun...for the most part.

Why only for the most part? Well, Matty has had some adventures lately. For instance, as Beth and I were driving home, we turned the corner onto her street and who do we see just wandering around? Matty. She crawled under the fence and was checking out the streets of Minneapolis on her own. Swell.

Another example: we took her to the dog park on Sunday morning, and because some idiot left BOTH gates open (we think that had to be on purpose, because who is that dumb? Seriously.), she was once again running free. This time, we were near the river, which made me nervous because I didn't know if she would try to go swimming (she loves to swim). Fortunately, she did not go swimming, and after a lot of running around by both Beth and me, I eventually caught her (by trickery, not by speed - she is crazy fast and I'm...well, let's just say I'm not).

Final example: Matty loves to play with any kind of ball at any time. However her idea of play seems to be destruction, since she destroys them approximately five seconds after she catches them. Thus, it's best that she remain separated from them for the most part. Fast forward to Sunday, when Matty, who was out in the dog run, saw B and I kicking a soccer ball around in her back yard, which is separated from the dog run by a fence. Or so we thought. Suddenly, Matty was out in the yard chasing the ball around like a crazy fool. She somehow managed to squeeze herself through the deck steps and out into the yard. This is bad news because if she remembers how to do that, she can never be left alone as she could then squeeze herself under the fence and out into the big world (see example 1).

Every time something like this happens, poor Beth becomes physically ill with worry, and it doesn't make me feel too great either. Matty is a decent size dog, but she wouldn't fare well against cars or other vehicles, and she seems a bit fearless as well. Not a good combination for a dog running free. I just hope that luck continues to follow her and that she stays safe, not only for Beth's sake, but for mine too. Despite my initial reservations, that dog has wormed her way into my heart. :)

Wedding Weekend Report

I attended two weddings this past weekend. Some people might have been horrified by this, but since I love weddings, it was no problem at all. The first one was on Friday night, and the second one was on Sunday evening. Both were great fun, and I danced well into both evenings.

My favorite part of both weddings took place during Sunday's ceremony, when the judge asked the bride and groom to exchange single roses and then talked about the symbolism of that act, how it always conveys "I love you." He told them that they should choose a spot in their house and that whenever one of them felt angry, upset, sad, or otherwise unable to speak, s/he should place a single rose in the spot to convey that no matter what, s/he still loved the other. What a fantastic idea! Sometimes it's just not easy to apologize or express our feelings; with the rose, you can take away some of the sting without saying a word. What a fantastic idea!

Despite the title of this blog, the entire weekend didn't revolve around weddings. In fact, Beth, Samantha, and I sandwiched Sex and the City in between weddings on Saturday night. For some reason, the reviewers are dissing the movie, but I absolutely loved it. Screw the reviewers I say! If you liked the show, go see the movie. After that, we met EJ for dinner and then went bowling too. Good times all around!

Overall though, it was a wedding themed weekend, and I have to say I didn't mind one bit. Yay for love!