Wedding Planning Update

It seems the wedding planning is cruising along these days. The invites should go out soon, which is awesome. The rehearsal and rehearsal dinner is planned, and the shower is set for July 18. We had our engagement photo shoot, and discussed the wedding day with the photographer, setting up a schedule. We hired a videographer and chose the wedding dinner. We have a DJ (though we need to meet with him again) and we even made progress on the gift bags for out of town guests!

All that's left is the cake and the flowers (of the big things), and we've already tasted cake from one bakery. We have another cake tasting on Sunday too, so I hope we can wrap that up soon. As for flowers, I'm not even sure where to begin with that, as I don't care that much about them. I don't want to spend much money on them either. I guess I don't understand the point. Oh, I guess we also have to make a program for the actual wedding day, and maybe pick music for the ceremony. And make the slide show, and figure out some of the wording for the ketubah, and order the dessert and brunch for the pre and post wedding activities, and put the gift bags together...oh boy, I guess there still is a lot left to do! Regardless, we have made good progress, and it seems like we just might be able to pull it all off, which is impressive given our tight schedule. Yay!

A trip down memory lane

I was recently invited to participate in a panel at the College of Saint Benedict, my alma mater, to discuss what it was like to be a gay student and what it's now like to be a gay alum. I happily accepted the invitation, and I made the trek to central Minnesota last Monday. B, Michelle (another alum), and Michelle's girlfriend Bev joined me. We arrived with enough time to show B and Bev the campus a bit, which was fun. I hadn't been up there in years, and it was interesting to see that while many things have changed, many things have also stayed exactly the same. The sandwich shop that we used to eat at, BoDids, smelled EXACTLY the same. I also loved hearing the library bells...almost transported me back in time. Walking around campus definitely made me me feel old though, especially by the first year dorms. I guess that makes sense, as those students are 18 or 19 years old...young pups compared to my wise and seasoned 32 year old self - HA!

After we ate dinner and completed our mini-tour, it was time for Michelle and me to go speak. Surprisngly, there was a really good turnout! I'm guessing many of the students were required to attend for class, but who cares? At least there were people there. :) It was good to see, and I hope they took something from the presentation.

Not surprisingly, I spoke my mind about CSB and central Minnesota. It's probably important to note here that I was the "Big Lesbian On Campus" duing my sophomore, junior, and senior years, meaning I was out and very active in promoting equal rights for GLBT students. I was so out that if people hung out with me, they were presumed to be gay by default. :) Anyway, during the presentation, I noted that while I made some lifelong friends during my four years there, it was also a very difficult place to be as a lesbian at times. So difficult in fact that I often contemplated transferring to a different school and at times actually felt a bit unsafe. My friend's car was vandalized for having a rainbow sticker, and I was offered a security escort after Matthew Shepard was killed (because we were planning a rally to address that sort of violence). After recounting my difficulties, I specifically addressed any gay students in the audience and said, "if you are gay, get out of central Minnesota." LOL - I guess I was a little blunt. During the question and answer period, one student asked me why I felt the Twin Cities were better, and I then had to rattle off reasons such as, "it's bigger, more populated, diverse community filled with all sorts of people, more progressive attitudes, etc." I also stated that I felt safer in the South visiting family than I did in central Minnesota, which is true (though, I've never traveled alone in the south, and I've never been in the middle of nowhere in the south - I imagine I could rapidly become more scared down there). Anyway, after the follow up question, all I could picture was some headline in the student newspaper saying something like, "Alum tells students to get out of central Minnesota." Nice!

I often wonder if I'm generally too blunt about things, but after some thought on this presentation, I've decided I wasn't too blunt about CSB. I spoke MY truth about MY experience up there. I had a blast at college, but things certainly could have been a lot better too. No one should have to think about having a regular security escort or have to worry about being jumped late at night (that was over at St. John's more than St. Ben's, but still not cool). I shouldn't have had to be worried about harassment and staring, or hate-filled emails from other students. Alas, that was CSB in 1999, and unfortunately, it sounds like it was CSB during the early and mid-2000s and that it is still CSB now.

Despite the difficulties I had there, I'm glad I stayed and stood up for equality. Things will never change in places like that if people don't stay and fight (same goes for the Church - it won't change if all GLBTers abandon it, but that's not a fight I could stay in as I can't stand religion for the most part). Obviously, my life would have been much easier if I had transferred to Smith or St. Kates (the schools I wanted to attend), but I think CSB is a much more accurate reflection of the so-called real world. Most places aren't hotbeds of liberalism or equal rights activity, and I learned a lot of lessons while struggling to fit in in such a place. In Minneapolis/Saint Paul, I rarely worry about being gay - I hold B's hand in public, I kiss her, I call her my partner, girlfriend, fiancee, etc. without really worrying. Unfortuantely, I still don't feel comfortable or safe doing that in most places, including CSB and even my hometown in Carver County. So, what I'm trying to say is that I am glad I didn't transfer because CSB was good preparation for dealing with most of the country. I'm also glad I live in liberal cities now, as I don't think I have the energy to fight so hard on a daily basis in a different place. A girl can only do so much afterall!

All in all, it was great to be back at CSB, and it was great to be a part of the presentation. As I told B, Michelle, and Bev during the ride home, I think the trip up was worth it if we helped just one gay student. It was also worth it if even one straight student got the message and starts challenging his or her peers to be more accepting and kind. Hopefully we had that sort of impact, but I'll never know. Real change is often frustratingly slow, as it requires every single person to think about things in a different way. Regardless, I'm glad I went, and I'm hopeful that we made an impact, even if it was slight. One day at a time, right? :)

A world without real journalism

Would be a scary world indeed, but it seems we are headed in that direction. As newspapers all over the country die a slow, painful death, I worry about what will become of us and our society. Who will do the investigative work that needs to be done? Who will ask the questions that need to be asked? Who will keep the government honest, or at least more honest? Really, these are important questions and the current answers scare the crap out of me. Clearly it won't be TV journalists, as tv news is already just fluff, and I don't think bloggers can answer the call either. Our government is proposing massive new powers in the wake of the recession, and yet barely anyone is asking any questions...I'm decently liberal, but I don't think the government should take on such powers without any checks. Basically, we need real journalism to question power and to at least attempt to keep it in check.

The younger generation might laugh at me, thinking I'm old fashioned and outdated. They may say, the internet will provide our news, via blogs, twitter and facebook. I'm sorry Gen Y, but those things just don't cut it. Very few of them are properly researched or fact checked, and very few have the resources to actually follow and report stories. Though we might not know it yet, I fear that the death of newspapers will leave a gaping hole to fill, and our current sources just won't fill the void. I can't see bloggers out there interviewing President Obama or Governor Pawlenty...blogs get their news from the AP or other newspapers. Where will the news come from when those papers no longer exist? We will live in a world where we won't know what's rumor and what's truth, and that sounds like a scary world to me. A REALLY scary world.

Despite my fears, I'm not sure there is anything to be done. It seems that newspapers are destined to die, and nothing as legitimate exists right now. Don't get me wrong - I like to read blogs and Twitter, but I don't see how they can actually deliver real, researched news like the current newspaper industry does now. It just doesn't seem possible. I can only hope that newspapers will evolve into something different yet still as effective...an online version perhaps. If not, I fear what will become of us...a nation of uninformed souls, all relying on different sources of information, most spewing rumors, gossip, and plain old mistruths (think Michele Bachmann for instance). I don't know how democracy, what little we have left anyway, can survive such a development. Scary to think about...scary indeed.

House Hunt Update

So far, I'm finding house hunting to be incredibly frustrating. I feel like we've seen 100s of houses online, and out of those, maybe 25 are worth seeing. I do not understand what people are doing to their houses, honestly. Scary stuff out there. Plus, tons of houses we like are on short sale status, which makes everything way more complicated. In fact, we actually made an offer on a house, but it's on short sale status. This means that we may wait for months and months before we even hear from the bank that they've even looked at our offer. Also, it means there is very little room for negotiation, as we are dealing with the bank rather than the seller. Yikes! Clearly, B and I can't wait forever, as our leases end early this summer. So, while we wait for an answer (or mere acknowledgment) on that house, we must continue to shop.

Unfortunately, none of the other houses we find really compare to the one on which we made an offer. Most of the other houses are smaller or have major flaws (lack of bedrooms, need a ton of work, etc.). Plus, for some reason, our realtor doesn't always seem to listen to us. I feel like we've sent her tons of homes we want to see, yet we've barely seen any houses. And then yesterday, she told us we've now seen enough houses to know what we like. We've only seen 9 houses in person...pretty sure that's not enough. She also showed us homes that didn't meet some of our requirements...another odd move. Further, we've now sent her at least 2 homes that have sold before we even had a chance to see them. That's sort of frustrating, but I'm not sure how to push things along either. I think B is going to send her another list of houses with specific instructions to set up appointments for all of them. Hopefully that will work. We haven't even looked in SLP yet, which seems weird to me. Idk what to think about all that.

Ultimately, I think B and I are going to wind up compromising on a lot of things we want, which is sort of a bummer. I already feel like I've compromised a lot by giving up on Saint Paul (I really don't like Mpls all that much), and now I don't know if we will be able to afford a house that we like either. That's frustrating and hard.

Anyway, I don't know why I thought buying a house would be easier than this, but I was clearly wrong. It's tiring, consuming, and stressful. Plus, I keep worrying about the economy and whether I will be laid off. If that happens, we would be in major trouble. A tiny part of me thinks maybe it's better to just keep renting for a while until things settle down. However, the other part of me knows that we need a place to live whether I'm working or not. And we could always get a renter if I lost my job. Still scary, but I think we would manage. I just wish the house hunting and moving (and the recession) could be over now. A girl can dream, right? :)

A real life example of GLBT discrimination :(

As I've mentioned previously, B and I are buying a house this spring. Lately, people have been encouraging us to take advantage of the recently adopted tax credit for new home buyers. Unfortunately, the tax credits impose income limitations, and I earn too much to qualify for the credit. However, if B and I could get married, we could file our taxes jointly, and then we would qualify for the credit, as our income doesn't exceed the joint limit. When I discovered this, I felt truly sad and angry. The love B and I share is just as valid as the love shared between heterosexual couples...a lack of a penis doesn't diminish that. I can't understand why people think we deserve less. B and I will lose out on a lot of money simply because of who we love. I know life isn't fair, but this is something that can be changed; this discrimination doesn't need to exist.

This is just one of the many unfair situations that B and I will encounter in the future. We have to hire an attorney to draft a domestic partnership agreement, we have to hire an attorney to complete a second parent adoption, we have to draft wills and health care directives, etc. All because of who we love. We are no different than any other couple - we go to work, maintain a home, care for pets, love our friends and families, go shopping, travel, etc. Yet, we can't obtain the protection that heterosexuals get just by saying I do. Thousands of extra dollars lost because we have to hire an attorney to take care of everything, and even then, we aren't completely protected. It's just not right.

So, if you are on the fence even a tiny bit re: gay rights and gay marriage, think about me and B. Think about all the extra challenges we face on a daily basis because of who we love, and ask yourself if that's fair. I hope you will reach the same conclusion as me - there is no valid reason for treating people differently based on whom they love. Discrimination hurts, a lot. Think about it. Thanks.

One of the worst places to live?

The Pew Research Center recently released a poll ranking people's choices for the U.S. cities in which they would like to live. I believe the institute surveyed 2,000+ people or so. The results? Minneapolis-Saint Paul came in 26 out of 30. Only Kansas City, Cincinnati, Cleveland, and Detroit ranked lower. OUCH! Cities like Houston, Las Vegas, Saint Louis, Dallas, Phoenix, and Pittsburgh beat us. Double OUCH (Houston especially - that place is just awful)! I believe Denver came in first, San Diego second and Seattle third.

I have mixed thoughts on this survey. It definitely stung, as I have a lot of hometown pride. However, as we are enduring the worst winter since 1984, I can see why people would not want to live here. It's brutally cold in the winter, disgustingly muggy in the summer, and super sloppy in the spring (when we get a spring). We do have fantastic autumns here, so that's at least something. I get it though - the climate sucks for most of the year. And as it turns out, people really valued climate, particularly warmth, in their choices (though how Seattle came in third then is beyond me - hello no sun for half the year!). Also, most people who move here say it's extraordinarily difficult to break into a group of friends; basically that Minnesota Nice only exists on a surface level. Again, I have to admit they are probably right - I've actually known people who have said that their lives are full and that they don't need any more friends. Obviously, that sort of attitude doesn't help newcomers feel welcome. Plus, the level of passive-aggressiveness that exists here is insane! So much so that some of B's coworkers don't get her when she's just herself - speaks her mind and is completely honest and direct. Hell, sometimes even I don't get that - I'm always searching for the underlying truth of her statements. Clearly, that passive-aggressive thing was hammered into me.

Despite all the bad things about the Twin Cities, I still love it here. And I think others would too, if they gave it a shot. We have fantastic parks, lakes, and trails. We have good schools (Minnesota consistently ranks in the top 5 in the nation), and we have activities for all - all four major sports leagues have teams here, we have a WNBA team and a professional soccer league team, we have fantastic arts (consistently ranking near the top for regional theater, with the Lion King debuting here. Also, the Frida Kahlo show opened its U.S. tour here), and a decent night life (obviously not like NYC). For a city of this size, I think all that stuff is pretty damn good! Also, within 2.5 hours, you can be hanging out in Duluth and exploring Lake Superior, or within 4-5 hours, you can be off exploring the Boundary Waters Canoe Wilderness Area. I'm not sure how you beat that.

Maybe there is a lesson for us Minnesotans to learn from this survey: if we want people to move here and endure our brutal climate, we must be kinder and more open to newcomers. No one wants to move anywhere they can't make friends (my sister Samantha is struggling to make friends in Seattle now, and it took Sarah a full year to break in to a group in Northampton - that's hard stuff)! It doesn't help that most Minnesotans grew up here, which means they have a lifetime of built in friends and acquaintances. This also means a lifetime of familial and friend obligations as well. This phenomenon results in busy, full schedules and a crazy social calendar at times. However, it probably wouldn't be that hard to open our doors and our hearts to new folks from time to time. And really, we would probably benefit more from it than the newcomers in the long run anyway. Insularity is NOT a good thing, as it stifles learning and personal growth amongst other things.

Perhaps I should make it a goal to try to meet some new folks this year, sort of a belated New Year's resolution if you can call it that. I think I like that idea. Perhaps we should all give it a shot! Now I just need to figure out how to go about doing that...stay tuned.

Do you know where your college transcript is?

As we begin this house buying process, I'm figuring out it's a huge pain in the ass! At least the mortgage part anyway. Example: I have to produce copies of both my college and law school transcripts. Law school is not a problem, but I graduated from college TEN years ago! Obviously, I don't have a transcript handy, so I had to order one. Another example: I have to call all of my utility providers and ask them to write letters detailing how long my account has been open, how much I pay, and if I've ever paid late. That doesn't seem like an easy thing to do - what incentive do those companies have to write such letters? Third example: I have to write a letter explaining the gaps in my recent employment history. Why the law school transcript isn't good enough is beyond me - doesn't that prove what I was doing for the last 3 years? Bizarre. Anyway, those are just a FEW of the things I have to produce - wow!

My favorite suggestion from the banker so far? Go out and USE my unused credit cards to prove that the accounts are active. WTF?? You want me to go shopping with credit cards to prove I have good credit? I already have an active account that has a balance - an account I've used for years. Plus, I have a car loan and student loan payments that I've been working on for years. None of that is good enough - I might have to go out and SPEND more money to prove I'm worthy of a loan for a house. Sigh.

Clearly I didn't do enough research into what this process entails before I started. We've barely started and I already feel tired. Plus, I'm worried that we won't be able to afford a decent house, and the current state of the economy scares the crap out of me. Every day brings more layoffs, more businesses closing, etc. It's starting to catch up to the firm, and I'm worried this is just the beginning. If I get laid off, we would be screwed! Scary, scary times out there, and things aren't supposed to get better until after 2009!

Despite all these worries, I'm still excited about the idea of home ownership. It is a great investment, and houses are basically on sale right now. Plus, interest rates on mortgage loans are currently low as well. Most signs point to moving forward, but the fear bubbles up every once in a while too. One day at a time, right? :)

I'm getting old

When I turned 32 this fall, I thought it sounded old. 31 didn't seem that bad, but 32...that felt different. Yesterday, I realized it IS different! I played in an all day volleyball tournament, and by the end of the day, I was pretty sore. Today, I can't really move around without stiffness. All of this is after taking a good amount of ibuprofen yesterday. Pretty funny. I can remember clearly being able to play volleyball, basketball, or softball games all day as a kid or a teenager without many consequences. I guess I can't blame it all on age, as there were women much older than me playing all day too (though, I have no idea how they feel today. ;) ). I'm sure it also doesn't help that I'm in terrible shape, but still I can't help thinking it has something to do with getting older. Sad, but true.

People always tell me that these days, 30 is young, blah blah blah. To those folks, my body begs to differ today - I'm certainly not over the hill, but 32 is NOT 16. I guess I need to add ibuprofen to the list of things for which I'm grateful this Thanksgiving. ;)

I stole this from Danette's tweets

Click here for an amusing, Sarah Palin bashing, retake of "Hey there Delilah." Sometimes, I feel badly that she is attacked personally so often, but then I remember she brings it on herself with her crazy right wing positions. I mean really, no abortion for rape victims or to save the life of the mother? Really? Nuts. Anyway, enjoy the video, and thanks Danette!

Just call me Snooker

Why Snooker you ask? Well, that would be my name if Sarah Palin was my mother. Actually, my full name would be Snooker Hinge Palin. If I just put in Lisa Marie and not Lisa Marie Schmid, my name becomes Pump Bust. Awesome. A tiny part of me feels bad for making fun of Palin personally, but then I remember that she constantly lies and attacks Obama non-stop, also with lies. Then I don't feel as bad, and I just giggle a bit. If you want to find out your Palin name, click here.

In other Sarah Palin related news, someone sent me an article that truly frightened me. I'm guessing that the author is extremely liberal, but if even half of the stuff in it is true, she is absolutely a horrifying choice to potentially lead our nation. Check out that article here.

One more silly thing re: Sarah Palin: I actually received a letter from the lovely Governor Palin. I guess we are BFFs now. In reality, the letter just urged me to visit Alaska if I hadn't already. Before my trip, I requested a visitor's guide from the state and I guess my name was added to some sort of database. Whatever the reason, I now have a letter from Sarah sitting on the ledge. Awesome!

Finally, and in all seriousness, McCain's selection of Sarah Palin changed the presidential election. She appeals to the voters Obama struggles to attract, and John McCain now has a decent chance of winning come November. Just as its true with GWB, most Americans don't seem to mind the lies, deceit, and lack of experience because Sarah presents as an "average joe." In reality, and also just like GWB, this couldn't be further from the truth. Regardless, it's clear that she has changed the race, and Obama needs help.

Most people know I strongly supported Hilary Clinton in the primary, but I'm now asking you to join me in supporting Obama with your time, your advocacy, or your money. As dramatic as this sounds, the future of our nation really is at stake. America cannot handle another 4 or 8 years of Bush/McCain policy. It's up to us to make a difference, and Obama needs all the help he can get. Click here to donate, find ways to volunteer, or to find information on voter registration. Speaking of voter registration, and it's quite possibly more important than time and money, the registration deadlines are rapidly approaching in many states (not Minnesota; we can register the same day). So, if you haven't already, get out and register ASAP. Obama needs you on election day! Together we can ensure that Sarah returns to Alaska, where she belongs.

Reality Check

Okay, that last entry contained a lot of complaints, which is sort of ridiculous since I've been on "holiday" all month. Plus, given the blogs I regularly read, I know life could be much, much worse. In an instant, you can lose everything, and that is something to complain about. So, I know I'm blessed and lucky, and I hope you all can see that I typically recognize that. I rant sometimes, but life is good, and I'm lucky. Just felt I had to throw that out there!

Gut Check - myspace blog post

One of my biggest challenges in life is to trust myself. Trust my heart, trust my gut, trust my brain. I often think I'm doing what is right, staying true to myself, etc., and then a bit of doubt creeps in. I start worrying about what everyone else will think, and I feel myself waver. I don't want to do that anymore. I know me, I know myself, I know my core. I want to remain true to myself, and I want to care less about what world thinks. It's my life, and I have to feel comfortable in it. So, I'm going to continue on in my journey, doing the best I can. Not easy, I know, but at least I recognize the struggle.

Peace out y'all.

Lesbians are people too! - myspace blog post

Warning: the following may get too personal and/or too serious for some of you. Proceed at your own risk.

Because I'm in law school full time, I have law school health insurance, and let's just say it's not great. I have to pay for everything up front and then I'm reimbursed for a portion of the costs. It's obviously better than not having insurance, but it's not fabulous either.

Anyway, because the insurance isn't great, I try to cut health care costs when I can. A perfect example is the choice I made to have my annual physical at a clinic run by nurse practitioners rather than doctors. A nurse practitioner at the Minute Clinic (another example of my cost savings choices) recommended the clinic. She told me that the clinic was affordable and serves mainly women and children, so it sounded good. Until yesterday anyway, while I was actually having the physical. That's when reality set in. I will spare you most of the details, but there are some things that really bothered me and still bother me today.

Things actually started off well. Upon arrival, I completed the new patient forms that clinics always require. The forms asked questions about who I partnered with, whether I was gay, etc. I felt they were all around inclusive forms. Thus, everything seemed good at that point.

However, when the nurse came into the exam room and introduced herself, everything started going down hill. She seemed quite uncomfortable, and her bedside manner was just awkward. In our initial conversation, I mentioned that I was a lesbian and how I know that sometimes changes gynecological concerns. She then became a bit flustered and admitted she didn't know the guidelines for how I should be treated (what to test for, how often, etc.). She did say she felt embarrassed, and while I was annoyed, I also thought, "well, this isn't THAT unusual, so I guess it will be fine."

The exam then proceeded (still awkwardly I might add). At one point, she had to step outside so I could change, and I heard her talking to her colleagues about me. I heard, "she's a lesbian" muffle muffle muffle. I felt like an alien! Almost like she had to call in a special unit or something. Like Men in Black. We have an unusual lifeform here, gotta call in the experts. It didn't feel good, but I can honestly understand why she might have needed to confer with her colleagues. She just should have handled it better: maybe discuss the protocol later or at least be quiet about it. I don't know; it just didn't feel great.

Anyway, after she finished her consult, she came back and continued, at one point asking me if I had any other health concerns. I mentioned that I have irregular periods from time to time and I asked if that meant I would have trouble getting pregnant in the future. She proceeded to say, "yes it could, but does that matter?" WHAT? Why wouldn't my being infertile matter? Because I'm gay? Because I'm 31? Because I'm single? What? Feeling somewhat stunned, I said, yes, of course it matters! She seemed surprised and then sort of fumbled through a response, at one point suggesting that I should start trying to get pregnant now or soon. I had no idea what to say at that point, so I mumbled something about needing to finish law school first (she knew I was a law student). She then proceeded to tell me about increased infertility after the age of 35, of which I'm well aware, and finally I was saved by a need to go to the lab for blood work.

So, I think you get the idea about this visit. I'm leaving out many details, but overall, the visit sucked. It wouldn't have been so bad if she simply didn't know how to treat lesbians specifically. I understand that there hasn't been a lot of medical research on lesbian health care, and I know that many doctors aren't up on the latest information. I can also understand why she might have needed to consult with her colleagues, even if she mangled the process. What I cannot understand however, and what also makes me sad and angry, is her overall ignorance...women don't care about their fertility because they are gay?!? WTF! For the first time in a long time, I was reminded that I am a minority and that most people don't care or think about the GLBT community and its needs. I felt very "other" if that makes sense. She didn't know about lesbian health because she never had to think about it. Sad.

Needless to say, I need to find a new clinic. In reality though, I will probably confront the same ignorance in other clinics as well. That makes me angry and sad and also reminds me of how much equality/equity work remains to be done, in health care AND other areas. Sad sad sad. We need more gay doctors, just like we need more gay everything...perhaps it's time to recruit. I could always use another toaster oven! PS: To those of you who don't know, I want to have kids, and I think I would make a fabulous mom. Whoa, a lesbian who wants kids. Call the CIA.

A beautiful life - myspace blog post

It's often easy to forget how lucky I am. I get bogged down by school and all that it entails, and it's just easy to get wrapped up in the minutiae of daily life. Traffic, lines, never sleeping enough, blah blah blah.

However, all week I've been reminded of just how blessed and lucky I am. I received birthday messages galore and had a fabulous party to celebrate my birthday and job offer with HLNJ. As I was surrounded by people wanting to celebrate with me last night, I realized that I have a great life. My life is full of fantastic family and friends. How could I ask for more, honestly?

So, to all of the fabulous people in my life, thank you! Thank you for the birthday wishes via phone messages, texts, myspace comments, emails, IMs, cards, and even Twitter. You all make my life extraordinary, and I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Words really aren't enough, but again, thank you! I wouldn't be where I am without all of you!