I could have sworn I was only 32...

When I was an athlete in high school (and even when I played intramurals in college), I never bothered with stretching or warm ups, and I never put much thought into cooling down either. I figured I felt great and that would never change. Stretching and all that other stuff was for old people, and I had better things to do. I also played sports for about two to four hours each day and never gave that a second thought either. I was young, in good shape, and felt great.

Fast forward to today - I'm only 32 and my body is falling apart! My right ankle is structurally unsound from all the sprains, and the tendon inside it is splitting. I demolished my right knee almost four years ago playing softball (tore the ACL, MCL, and both menisci), and that's never been the same. I had severe tendonitis in my right elbow during high school, and that still bothers me. My left elbow is super sore from - get this - carrying heavy bags on the train. How pathetic is that? And to top it all off, I'm pretty sure I have a pinched nerve in my lower back, as my back hurts and the pain runs down my left leg - a fiery sort of pain. My doctor wants me to have an MRI on my back, but I'm trying to save money for the house so that will probably have to wait a bit.

All these ailments make me look pretty funny from time to time. I have knee braces, elbow braces, and ankle braces. I have ice packs and heating pads, and lots of mineral ice. I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and literally hobble to the bathroom, hunched over. Honestly, if someone didn't know better and couldn't see me, s/he might guess that I'm 82 rather than 32. Funny. Sad and funny. Good thing I at least have my youthful looks; no one ever guesses I'm even close to 30, let alone 32.

Anyway, looking back, I'm not sure if my lack of stretching and all the sports actually caused any of these ailments, but it's hard to imagine they didn't at least contribute to some of them. Overuse injuries in kids are becoming more and more common, and I was probably the queen of overuse when I was a kid. Overuse in combination with no stretching, etc. However, even if I could pinpoint all the childhood sports as the cause of my current condition, I'm not sure I would change a thing. I loved every moment of my athletic days! I guess my creaky old body is something I have to live with in exchange for the fun I had back then. Stretching once in a while probably wouldn't have hurt though - a lesson to pass on to my kids I suppose. As if they'll listen...and then the cycle will begin again! :)

In all seriousness though, I do recognize most of these things are not a laughing matter, especially my back. And I worry that I maybe inherited my mom's bones/joints, which means I will be in REALLY rough shape in 20 years (Mom - I mean that will all due respect. I hope you know that). I actually decided to really commit to losing weight via Weight Watchers because I recognized something had to change if I wanted to feel good in 10 years. My poor joints are in rough enough shape without all the extra weight to carry around. Plus, I figure being a lot lighter can help delay and decrease some of the genetic trouble I may encounter later. Even though the damage is already done, I don't have to worsen it by carrying extra pounds. Knowing the potential health consequences of being heavy makes my weight loss even that much sweeter - it's easier to stay on track when I have a concrete reason to do so. I hope I can keep that perspective as I continue on the journey, as it's a long one; a lifelong one really. I guess I have no choice but to stay the course, as I really want to be able to play catch with my kids in a few years or to walk when I'm 70. I don't want to feel like I'm 102 when I'm 52! I can only imagine what that might look like... :)

That's a lot of butter!

I'm now down 20.6 lbs on Weight Watchers! Yay! I feel good about this loss, really good. My clothes feel bigger, my face looks thinner, and my knee feels better. All joyous things.

However, from day one of my weight loss journey, I've had a hard time thinking about how long it will take me and how hard it will be to stay motivated for such a long time...really, for life. When I really think about it, it's hard not to get discouraged. To help me with that, B. came up with a good visual image - picture one box of butter (4 sticks) as one pound of weight off my body. One might seem small, but when you add up twenty boxes? That's a LOT of butter! That image helps me to recognize what an accomplishment my weight loss is as of right now, even if it's only the beginning of the journey.

It also amuses me to picture the 100 boxes of butter that represent what I need to lose to reach my "goal" weight (really, if I lost that much I would be smaller than I was in high school, when I was in good shape, so I don't see that happening.). 100 boxes of butter...that's just amazing!

Regardless of how many boxes of butter I need to or choose to lose, I feel good about the twenty I've already lost! I think it's important to recognize that as an achievement in itself, even if I have many boxes to go. Thanks to everyone who is supporting me, especially B. I'm sure she's sick of hearing about food, points, meetings, exercise, etc., but she's quite patient and supportive through it all. Gotta love that! Thanks so much to her and everyone else. With all of you at my back, I will be able to stick with it and eventually say "bye bye butter!" I won't miss you, not even a little bit!

WW Update

I completely fell off the Weight Watchers wagon last weekend. I had two more Thanksgivings, and I indulged at each. Further, I indulged the rest of the weekend too, in a BIG way. Fast food, pizza, crepes. Yikes! The scale won't be pretty tomorrow...in fact, I'm considering using my no weigh in pass. My weight actually went up the previous week after I had behaved and worked out (our leader thought it was probably just water weight from being sore, etc.), and I felt devastated after weigh in. I can't imagine what I will feel like tomorrow. Going up in weight after working hard makes it difficult for me to stay on track, so I think it's just best to avoid the scale for a week or two.

In fact, it might just be better to not focus on the numbers during the holiday season, as treats beckon everywhere. I got back on track today, but soon I will be participating in holiday gatherings galore, and I'm not sure I have the willpower to behave all season long. Given this reality, perhaps a better goal during the holidays is weight maintenance rather than weight loss. I'm going to do my best to stay on track, but I just don't think it will be that easy. Plus, life is too short to not enjoy some of the fabulous treats I'm going to encounter!

In good news, as noted in another post, I joined a gym - the JCC. I'm hoping this will kick start more weight loss, and it should also make me feel better overall. Stay tuned for updates on that front.

Overall, I think WW is still going decently well, but each day I'm starting to realize this is going to be a life long, difficult battle for me. I may not ever win completely, but I do hope to at least make some progress. As everyone tells me, I can try to eat well and work out for the next six months and hopefully lose some weight along the way or I can do nothing - either way time will pass. I might as well try during that time period. What do I have to lose, besides all the excess weight I'm carrying around? :)

PS - I'm starting to get bored with my food options. The problem is that if B doesn't cook, I need quick and simple meal ideas that are low in points (calories and fat, high in fiber). Anyone have any suggestions? A girl can only eat so much soup!